Let's do a throwback episode to one of our more aggressive episodes...
Another "Could You...?" episode. This time Laura and Katy ask each other "Could You Fight That?" They're not looking to pick a fight, but could they survive one if the fight comes to them? Listen to find out!
*No animals were harmed in the research done for this episode.*
Let's do a throwback episode to one of our more aggressive episodes...
Another "Could You...?" episode. This time Laura and Katy ask each other "Could You Fight That?" They're not looking to pick a fight, but could they survive one if the fight comes to them? Listen to find out!
*No animals were harmed in the research done for this episode.*
Hello and welcome to For the Love of Nature, a podcast where we tell you everything you need to know about nature and probably more than you wanted to know.
Katy:=today we're doing ding, ding, could you fight that?
Laura:Which sounds so awful, but we promise you guys, we're not about, we're not going to talk about us going out picking fights with animals. We're just going to talk about how if they picked a fight with us, we could end it. How we
Katy:could, how we could finish it. Oh, goodness. I'm so excited. So if you guys... So no
Laura:PETA or Humane Society coming after us.
Katy:But I mean, we've already done Could You Ride That? And what was the other one? Could You Be That? Yeah. So this is the same one, part of that series. It's just, Could You Fight That? So this should be good.
Laura:Yeah, I'm ready to see what you think you can take on.
Katy:Listen, listen. I, I text a friend and a listener, avid listener, to get ideas and did not disappoint whatsoever. And then from my five and a half year old, not only did Luke pick animals for me, he was very specific about how I should fight them.
Laura:That's amazing. I can't wait to hear yours, only so that I can hear their insights into these things.
Katy:Listen, Luke was so specific
Laura:let's do this.
Katy:Could you fight that? I really should have prepped like a, uh, a ding ding. You know, like a fight bell? Yeah. Bing bing. Alrighty. My first animal that I know I could survive a fight with. Bluefin tuna.
Laura:Oh my gosh.
Katy:Hear me out. Hear me out. Alright, facts. Bluefin tuna are found all around the world's oceans. They can live up to 40 years old and hella big. Right. If you didn't listen. Okay, I was gonna say you've already ridden this animal. I did. Well, I've ridden this animal. I have. In theory, I've ridden this animal too. Tuna are very aggressive, and they will take over territory that other fish have been feeding from. So, they will move in as a group, and if they can't even see that they have an upper hand in the situation, they will take over with their speed and size. So, most of the time, other types of fish have no choice but to seek shelter and food elsewhere if they want to survive. If I were to live in the ocean, I guess, free diving for sustenance, and I become queen of the area, I could be seen as having the upper hand to a tuna. Which means, the bluefin tuna, which weighs up to 1500 pounds and anywhere from 6 feet to 10 feet in length, Which is definitely sizably larger than I am, 5'1 and 115 pounds. I mean, it wouldn't take all that much if I'm in the water and I could just like, and if a tuna had me cornered by mistake, of course. Cornered in the
Laura:ocean.
Katy:Yeah, yeah. Like against a boat or something.
Laura:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Katy:I didn't want to go into too much natural history because, yeah, just go back and listen to the Could You Ride That episode. But anyway. Cornered in the ocean. By mistake. Against a boat or a dock. If it decides to go that close into land. If it was a survival aspect, which this is, I've already determined in a previous episode that I could definitely ride it, so one, I would either ride it, or two, I feel like I could just curl up in a tiny ball and just, survive it, tuck and float in the water and just take it. Float. Hahaha. Hahaha.
Laura:That would be my, that would be my, anything in the water, just tuck and float.
Katy:Just tuck and float. That needs to be on a t shirt that Josh can make. In someone
Laura:in a little, in a little fetal position, but surrounded by sharks. Tuck and float, guys. Tuck and float. Tuck and float.
Katy:So, bluefin tuna. First animal I could fight because I would either ride it again or tuck and float.
Laura:Excellent. I chose nothing in the water because I don't believe I could take on anything in the, in that environment.
Katy:I thought you were gonna say I don't believe in water. I was gonna say, I was like, what?
Laura:Okay, let me start off with some of the, I'll get more and more extreme, I think. Okay, let's do...
Katy:Mine jump around. Mine jump around. I go from the ones that, the first several that my friend sent in, and then it goes into Luke's. Okay. So it gets from like... Funny to like, the shit Luke wants me to beat up.
Laura:Okay, well, so my first one is The Trumpeter Swan.
Katy:That's such a good one! I would totally beat up a trumpeter swan.
Laura:Right, also even the fact that that's like a childhood book, of a trumpeter swan. Anyway, I would beat him up. Real quick natural history. It is the largest of the swan species, which is why I chose it. They have an 8 foot wingspan and weigh up to 30 pounds, so no joke of a waterfowl.
Katy:And they're assholes, like that's the biggest problem. Continue.
Laura:They're native to Canada and the United States and they live in wetlands, open woods, and prairies. So, swan attacks. Swan attack swans are very territorial and protective of their nests. That's a great way to spin it. As Katy said, they're just dicks. It's the male's job to defend the nest and the female while she's on the eggs. Most likely scenario would be me walking around a pond minding my own business. But I end up getting too close to a nest.
Katy:Just herping.
Laura:Getting too close to a nest and BAM! Daddy's on me. Um. Um. Again, didn't think about it until I said it.
Katy:Continue.
Laura:So, swans are no joke. They are powerful birds. They use their wings, beaks, and even feet when attacking or defending. And it hurts. It hurts. Oh yeah. I have been smacked by a swan. And I have seen them kill other animals. They can kill smaller animals. It does hurt. Yes. And they've actually killed a person once. Before that night.
Katy:Really?
Laura:Yep. By drowning, which is all my gosh. Way to go. Gosh. This poor maned by swan was kayaking and drowned by swans. Like he fell out like, I don't know if he just upset himself or whatever, wouldn't let him, they wouldn't let him surface what says Yeah. They, they probably, he probably tipped, tipped himself over. And then he's trying to get back in the kayak and upright himself. And then they probably just like attacked, which is insane.
Katy:Yeah, man. What a way to go.
Laura:I know. Definitely. If I ever go in some bizarro way like that, you have to make sure it's on my tombstone so that people can be like, what killed by swans? So on the land, there's two ways this could happen.
Katy:One second, I had a, wasn't my English teacher, my 8th grade English teacher, that he always told us that whenever he starts to get to the age where he's going to be too old, he wants to die by tobogganing down Mount Everest. And I have never forgotten that, of how amazing of a way that would be. If you're going to die, you might as well. Do something so absurdly epic. Yeah, tobogganing down Mount Everest, right? Continue. With your little tassel cap on, goggles, just, just passage.
Laura:Anciently old.
Katy:Yeah. What like a snowdrift, like, flying down the mountain.
Laura:Little icicles on their old man eyebrows. Anyway, so there's two places the attack could happen on land or the water. On land, I would grab a branch, broom, or some other long object to keep the swan at a distance to avoid getting thumped by their wings because it freaking hurts. While I backed away. See?
Katy:And that, okay. And that already shows our differences because, I, go ahead, just continue, I'll, I'll say it here in a little bit.
Laura:If I didn't have anything at hand, I would use my legs. I would kick that swan. Yeah. Um, and in the water would be terrifying.
Katy:Yeah, that would be scary. Again, I would try
Laura:and grab something to try and keep it away. Or I would try and dive down, swim as far as I could, and then surface quickly. Like, maybe, maybe it wouldn't know where I was gonna surface. Maybe.
Katy:See? I think I say this later on, I am completely, I feel like your response is more flight. Where mine is more fight.
Laura:Yeah, well it would depend on the animal, I think.
Katy:Okay, okay, because if I was in that situation, I would totally grab that thing by the neck and drown it. If I was in the water, grab its head, pull it down, and...
Laura:I mean, if it's me or the swan, it's definitely gonna be the swan.
Katy:But, remember whenever we were kids, did you have swim class as a kid? Like in gym. So we had a pool and they had to teach us to survive where they like you take off your pants, you flop it over your head and make a flotation device. You ever learned to do that?
Laura:Okay, no.
Katy:So, because I grew up in, in western Pennsylvania where we have rivers and stuff like that, we had to do these drills where you have a bathing suit on, you put clothes on and they make you all jump in the pool and then you have to take everything off.
Laura:That's cool.
Katy:To, to, to survive and so to, to float. And so you take your pants off, you tie the legs together. Flop them over your head and you have to tread water and then pull them down over your head, catches enough air, and then you spin the bottom and then you can put the tied legs around your head, like around your neck, and then just hold on to it as a flotation device. So, take that picture, and that's what I would do with the swan. The swan. Folds it down into the water, grab it with my legs,
Laura:And Use it as a flotation device,
Katy:until it drowns.
Laura:That's amazing. I have taken care of swans before, and I... It was always a race between if I could dump their food in their bowl before the dad could get to me. Yeah. I hated them so much.
Katy:They're jerks.
Laura:So yeah, that's how I would outlive a swan, if I could.
Katy:Man, that was a good one. That was a great, that was a great first one, for sure. Alrighty, my second, Shoebill Stork. Now, if you've listened to any of our previous episodes, you know I have a weird thing against animals that I can look eye to eye with. It can be shorter than me, of course, and it can be way bigger than me, no problem. Eye to eye, especially birds, I have a very healthy, healthy fear of it.
Laura:At least its beak isn't like a Marabou stork.
Katy:Oh wait, oh wait. So, the listener, the friend who sent this to me knows that I hate looking eye to eye with birds. That's why they sent it, because this bird is 5 foot tall. I'm 5'1 Have a healthy inshore.
Laura:And they're terrifying looking.
Katy:And they're terrifying looking. Also, if you look up, shoebill stork, What would you call it? Like a beak smack or something?
Laura:Clacking.
Katy:It sounds like a, yeah, it sounds like a machine gun. Like, cause it's Yeah. But it's thumping. So it totally sounds like a machine gun. Anyway. Alright. If you haven't seen A Shoebill's Story, Google it, because they, they do, man, it's just a level of displeasure. Yeah, they have such a level of displeasure, it's just, it's top notch. It constantly looks like it's ticked off with the world, but in dinosaur form, essentially. Are they aggressive? I don't think I said where it's from. Africa. I don't think I really said that. No. So they live in Africa. But anyway. And they do eat meat occasionally. Five foot tall. I think it's like a seven foot, eight foot wingspan. I mean, they're like a big... They're a big bird. And they do, they're just very prehistoric looking. Um, so are they aggressive? A resounding yes. First off, baby storks show no mercy. They will attack each other, pushing the smaller storks out of the nest. Um. Yeah.
Laura:Sybilicide.
Katy:Yep. So I'm not a baby bird, so I'm safe there. But they are also known to attack Nile crocodiles.
Laura:What?
Katy:Yes. Which I did not know that. Right? Yep. Yep. This bird has a heck of an aggressive streak, because what bird would attack a crocodile?
Laura:One who is a death wish.
Katy:Right? Yeah, so definitely has a death wish. And, they will decapitate their prey before eating it, because their beaks are so strong. And so, heavy. To think of, the, the strength of, the beak itself, you can compare it to the strength of a wooden clog. And I don't know how many avid cloggers we have out there, but the Dutch make them tough. So if it's as strong as a wooden clog, it's, it's going to do, damage.
Laura:Yeah, so it's not a piercer, it's a crusher.
Katy:It's a crusher, for sure. And it is, you know how thick a clog is? Yeah. Again, for all of our avid cloggers out there, let me know what you think. But anyway, so how would I fight it? So most of it is, by its beak, decapitating, it chomps it. It will kick, just like most birds, like you said with the chomper swan. It'll kick, it'll do whatever it can. And, I mean, most of the time, because it's a bird, it's gonna fly away. Fight or flight, it takes flight every time if it can. If for some reason, it was really pissed off at me, One, punch its square in its clogged face mug. Yep. Then break its legs. Oh! Like,
Laura:just sweep them.
Katy:Just sweep it at the legs. Because birds, I mean, bird bones are hollow, essentially.
Laura:Oh, jeez.
Katy:So, so again, this is what I'm like, I feel like I went way more aggressive than what you did.
Laura:Yeah, I killed a single animal on mine.
Katy:I didn't say I would kill it yet, I just said...
Laura:No, you drowned the swan.
Katy:Yeah, true. And then the Shoebill Stork, break its legs. So it may be able to fly away, but it clearly can't run away at this point. So, so then I would be able to run away. Done. Alright, Shoebill Stork.
Laura:Oh man. Okay. So my next one, I was laughing really hard at because, it's the Bobcat. It's the, oh, it's the largest cat I think I could take on.
Katy:I knew, I was gonna say, I knew there would be a cat in here somewhere, but I just didn't know which one you would pick.
Laura:I was like, there's no way I could do a mountain lion. I would like to think that I could, but no. Um, so, and even the bobcat's pushing it, but, so, little, natural history. They're kind of puntable. Yeah, a little bit for sure. So they look a, they look a bit like a large tabby house cat, except that they have a bobbed tail, which means short, tufted ears, and a facial ruff, which is like lots of fur around their face. They're one to two feet at the shoulder and up to 33 pounds, native to Canada, US, and Mexico, and they're carnivores. So, how do bobcats attack? They stalk their prey, And they can eat things, and they will try and eat things up to the size of a small deer, which is pretty incredible considering that they're not very big. Well, and that's what I was gonna say about the mountain lion. The only reason why I don't think that, I mean, they are fierce, but I don't think you would be able to fight a mountain lion just because you would not hear it coming. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like that's, yeah, yeah, continue. Um, so it's highly unlikely I would ever be stalked by a bobcat, but probably if I got too close to kittens, mom would take me on. Um, also, this past year, a rabid bobcat did attack a woman in North Carolina, and her husband had to fend it off. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the one that chucked it. I was gonna say, if you have not seen this video, you must. Dude, I forgot about that. I did, too, until I, until I, I had already chosen bobcat, then I remembered this, and I was like, yes, that's how you defeat a bobcat. I have never, I laughed so so
hard
Katy:because he needed
Laura:that thing so far. That's, that's the best thing. Oh my gosh. So since that bad ass husband was successful in his bout with a bobcat, I'm going to go with his strategy. So as the bobcat is attacking, he grabs it with both hands, holds it up and yeets it across the front yard. And when you say yeet, I mean yeet. He throws it. All of his adrenaline must be up. Um, it's insane. It's such a hardcore throw. It's amazing. Yeah, and the fact that he's holding, like, I don't know how many of you have ever held a pissed off cat, but It's hard. No joke. Yeah. So he is holding a giant pissed off cat and then throws it across the front yard. It is incredible. I forgot that that existed. What an amazing husband. Because they caught
Katy:it on, like, their ring
Laura:doorbell, which makes it even more amazing, because it's completely unexpected. Yeah, and he's just, like, talking to himself in the morning with his coffee, and then all of a sudden there's a bobcat attack. Like, it's so nuts. So getting it with both hands would be really tricky, but I would try my best. Um, I, you know, get it on the scruff, get it wherever I could, try and avoid the nails. Um, In this encounter, I would certainly sustain significant damage. For sure. Oh yeah. There's no way you would walk away from a cat. Yeah, yeah. It's a cat. I have been wrecked by a kitten before. Yeah. Like when I tried to get a feral kitten once. Dang. I got torn up. Yeah, they're nasty. Um, but, uh, I would be sure. to guard my neck, because that's what they go for. So as long as I kept my chin
Katy:down... Do you still think, even because you're this, like, you're the size that you are, a bobcat would still go for your neck? Or do you think it would just go for
Laura:your face? I think it would just go wherever it could. Because it would be, like, such a freak thing to happen. Yeah. But I would be really paranoid about it.
Katy:Yeah, because I don't know if because we're so much bigger than bobcats... We're not prey. Yeah, yeah, so if they would have the instinct to go for our necks... I don't think, it would just be, like... I gotta attack this thing so it drops me and not yeet me across the
Laura:yard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just wouldn't want like an accidental Nick. Slash. Oh my gosh, yeah. So yeah, I'm gonna tuck the chin and then yeet that bobcat.
Katy:Tuck the chin, yeet that thing!
Laura:It's like in Miss Congeniality when she's explaining the Oh my gosh, yes. This is how to defend yourself from bobcat. Tuck the chin and yeet. Oh
Katy:goodness. Alright. Next. That's, that's a good one. Alright, third. I know we didn't say we were going to do throwaways. And this isn't a throwaway, so just hear me out. Okay. Emperor penguin. Alright. I mean, they're huge. They are big. Anyone that has worked with penguins, just like a trumpeter swan, knows that they're jerks 90% of the time, if not more. So, these carnivorous birds, um, which are about 4 feet or so tall, live in Antarctica, even though... They look like a weeble wobble or one of those like punching bags, um, that come back up after you pat, punch it. They definitely won't. However, they do pack one heck of a bite. Speaking from experience, it sucks to get bit by a penguin. Yes. Because they're relentless and they just keep biting you again. And I've had like wallops of bruises
Laura:from stupid penguin bites. Oh yeah, they They bite, they twist, and they rip. And it sucks. Yeah. So bad. And these were small penguins that we were working with. Yes. Not a four foot penguin. Not a four foot penguin. Dude, that would like, that's chest. Oh, ow.
Katy:No. So, and I found several websites that state that penguins aren't aggressive, which is bullshit. Yeah. Those people clearly are not around penguins. And maybe emperor penguins aren't as aggressive because there's not like There's no people, there's no predators down where they are. So they're just kind of a little bit more chill. But let's just say that this emperor penguin was mad or attacking me. Um, could I take on one penguin? I believe so, but a group of them, which are
Laura:a group terrifying. A group on
Katy:land is called a waddle, and in the water, it's called a raft. So, one, I definitely think I could take on. But imagine, because they go in like hundreds and thousands. Could you imagine if they like, I don't know what you would have to do to piss off that many penguins. But, but that would suck.
Laura:Dude. And I, wouldn't it? Death by a thousand cuts is what it would be. Yeah, right. Death by a thousand penguin bites.
Katy:would suck. So, how would I fend it off? Go with me here. Have you ever been a kid, and like your brother's been Good start. Good start. And like, your sibling is just beating the crap out of you, and you just like start blindly swinging?
Laura:Yeah, only I usually was a leg person.
Katy:Yeah, okay, okay, so you were So, just blindly swinging, almost like arms out, spinning, just punching as many penguins as you can. And then just like, hightail it out of there. Punch, kick, run.
Laura:And no belly slide. Cause you'll probably be in the snow.
Katy:Yeah, right? Punch, kick, and belly slide. We just need to make a step by step guide of
Laura:animal survival. All these animals, yes. With infographics. Yeah. Because that's... Punch, kick, belly slide.
Katy:Punch, kick, belly slide. Yeah. So this one I would more or less... run away from, because penguins, okay, unless their necks are completely stretched out, which if you I almost said, which if you've never stretched out a penguin's neck
Laura:before, which no, most people
Katy:have not. Most people have not. Their necks are freakishly long. Yeah. Like even the little ones, because remember like we had the jackass penguins, African black footed penguins, And you can hold one on one because you have to, um, for like injections and stuff. We weren't just like stretching penguin necks for no reason, um, for injections in their necks for, um, uh, shots, whatever blood samples you tuck in under one arm and then you stretch their necks across your body. And it literally stretches the whole way across your body. I mean, like, their necks are freakishly long, but they never stretch it out that long unless they're like hunting in the water. Stabbing for fish. Yeah. And so, to fight it on land, like, it would be so hard to just, like, kill one, because... Like, unless you would, you would have to, like, grab it by the beak, and then, like,
Laura:BOOM! I used no expression, because I started,
Katy:I started motioning what I was going to do,
Laura:and the look of horror on
Katy:Laura's face. That's the silence you heard.
Laura:Because... Are you gonna snap? Are you? Our listeners, Katie, I don't know how much they can take. I'm so glad
Katy:you have headphones on and your poor sweet baby isn't, isn't hearing anything. have to pull its beak out and then like
Laura:Karate chop. Karate chop. Like, push down on the back of its skull and like, snap it, snap it. Okay, I guess I'll be the creeper on here. You were talking about how hard it would be to kill it, and I was immediately thinking, yeah, because they've got so much blubber, so it'd be really hard to stab. No, it would be hard.
Katy:But that's the only way you could do it, because it's like, it's picking up like a football. Like, how would you kill a football? Like, it's, there's no way to like, you know what I mean?
Laura:Yeah, you just run. You just
Katy:run. Like, so, that would be the only way. Other than that, I would punch, kick, belly
Laura:slide. Nice. I'm burping one. My next one, um, I don't know if everyone knows what they are, but they're called doll sheep, D A L L. It's like the bighorn sheep essentially, but they're white. Um, so they are native to the mountains of Alaska and Canada, often confused with mountain goats, but they are different. Um, they're off white in color and they have way bigger horns than mountain goats. Um, both males and females have horns and they have the largest horns in comparison to size of any ruminant, which is like a four, you know, a four chambered stomach animal, you know, any goat, deer, blah, blah, blah. So three feet at the shoulder and up to 180 pounds. Although I did see some things where it says that males could maybe get 300, which would be nuts. So anyway, um, males are known to characteristically clash horns. How do we not ride these things? I know, I did ride a goat. But yeah, that's right. That's right. You did. You did. Um, so males characteristically clash their horns, but it's actually usually not over females, but to establish order, which I think is kind of funny. Yeah. Um, but most fights do happen near the rut, which is when they aren't making sense. Yeah. Their relatives, the big, doll sheep, I couldn't find any attacks, but their relatives, big horn sheep, they have been known to attack humans. Oh, heck yeah. Not commonly, but I mean, it can happen. Yeah. And, uh, so imagine, you know, like the Dodge Ram symbol coming at you. Um, so as long as I can avoid the horns, I should be fine. Because that's, that's all where it is. It would charge me. And I just have to avoid the head. So time it sidestep. Okay. Right. So once I side, once I sidestep, I would grab the horns Yes. And then redirect the inertia, forcing the ram either to the ground or like into a st. Like into a nearby object. So just, or just ride it, dude. Yeah. Tame it. That too. Ride
Katy:it. Tame it.
Laura:Grab the horns and ride it. Yeah. So yeah, I would either force that ram to the ground with its own inertia or smash it, make it smash itself into something else as I ran. That would make sense. So it would all be timing. Timing, sidestep. Sidestep, grab horns.
Katy:Yeah, I guess you did. What was the name? Do you remember the, the, what, the
Laura:sheep that you wrote? Yes, the, the, um, cause I thought about doing it for this one, but then I was like, nah, I wanted something with different horns. It was the Markhor.
Katy:Yeah, Markhor, that's what it was. That was crazy. Yeah. Alrighty. You ready for my
Laura:next one? I hope so.
Katy:This is the one that I, I really genuinely thought that you were gonna pick. Okay. The Garinuk. Do you know what I'm talking about? Oh,
Laura:that freaky, long necked
Katy:ewe! So here we go. Alright. So I know I'm gonna keep saying this, but if you've never seen a picture of a Garinuk, please look it up now. They are by far the dumbest looking animals on the face of the planet. So... They're like a gazelle esque animal with their, you know, antelopes that are found in Africa, but definitely stand out from the rest because it has a stupidly long neck that assists in grazing. It's like if a giraffe
Laura:and an antelope had a baby. Pretty,
Katy:pretty, no, seriously, pretty much. Interestingly enough. Two, when they do graze, they use, they say they go up, they reach with a really long neck, and then they actually use their front legs and hose to grab branches, which is definitely strange. Freaky, yeah, for an antelope. But anyway, all right, so how would I fight it? Because they do get pretty aggressive and the males do have like sh, like long, sharp horns. So again, it would have to be. Same thing as yours, sidestep it, okay? And then once I do, grab it by its neck, and then just like, blehlehlehlehlehlehlehlehlehlehlehlehlehlehlehlehlehlehlehlehlehlehlehlehleh.
Laura:Yes.
Katy:Because, and I could not stop laughing at that image of like, how long its neck is. Yeah. That you would just need to grab
Laura:anywhere. The reverberations. Yeah, and just grab it and then shake it. Be like a cartoon. Yeah, like, cause
Katy:I'm picturing like, tongue out, like so aggressive shaking, like tongue out and it sounds like it's tiny brain just in there like rattling around like marbles of just like blood. It's either that
Laura:or you sidestep and clothesline it. Like with your arm. I'm gonna shake it. Yeah,
Katy:yeah. I'm gonna strangle it and shake it. Mostly cause I wanna hear it go, because I'm pretty sure that's, that's the sound I would make from how stupid these things look. Because I could just, cause they have big bug eyes even. I mean, people look it up. It's G E R E N U K. Dang. This is definitely another one that they are very lanky and they're, they're big, but they're not all that big that you could probably overpower it.
Laura:They look so frail.
Katy:They do look very frail. But, definitely, just strangling the crap out of that would be really funny. That needs to be in some cartoon though, because it would be hilarious. Yeah,
Laura:yeah. Alright. Um, well, you know how you brought back bluefin tuna, I'm bringing back the wolverine. Oh, very nice. Um, this, uh, this one, also, I was like, do I really think I could? Yeah, yeah, I think I could. I think you could. So, if you listened to our Could You Be That episode, you probably remember me saying that I would choose to be a wolverine if I lived in colder climates. So, natural history, native to the boreal zone of the northern hemisphere, largest and most badass of the weasel family. Way up to 40 pounds, and they're a little taller than, like, the, your knee. Um, known to be incredibly fierce and can bring down prey five times themselves. Five times larger than themselves. So, attacking. I think an attack would most likely occur, there has never been, by the way, there has never been a report of a wolverine attack, which I thought was pretty surprising. Oh, really? Yeah,
Katy:you would think it would be something.
Laura:Maybe it's too remote, I don't know. Maybe. I think an attack would most likely occur if I startled it while it was feeding and it felt cornered. Um, so I could be the first. You could be the
Katy:first. I
Laura:am on it. They have really sharp teeth, very strong jaws, sharp claws, so, um, as I said in a previous episode, they will scare bigger animals off of kills like wolves, mountain lions, and black bears. So they think they can take them on? It's gonna be a fight. It is, yeah. Um, so I feel like I would get absolutely wrecked in this fight, I just would survive it. I think you would, yeah. Cause I just imagine the wolverines would fight with no holding back. I don't think,
Katy:yeah, there's no way that they
Laura:would. It would be like fighting like a whirlwind of teeth and claws just Jackman Wolverine. Right, right, yeah.
Katy:Which any, either one of us would be
Laura:willing. No, nevermind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, again, I'm always going to try and grab the nearest tool, um, to beat it off like a club. Oh, heck
Katy:yeah. Especially a wolverine, I would definitely be scrambling for something to
Laura:hit it with. Because otherwise it's on you and you're getting torn up, so I would want it at least as a barrier, if not as a club. And if I had to, I would just like, take off a shirt, a shoe, anything to keep it between me and it. Yeah. Um, I just have to unleash my inner beast and defend myself as crazily as that Wolverine was attacking me.
Katy:I will say, I will say, and I don't know if you, you felt this way yet. Once I became a mom. I feel like you gain like an extra power boost like women are pretty ferocious anyway Yeah, but I feel like once I became a mom There's like an extra like you just leveled up as far as like your fight for survival of badassery that I feel like that instinct for me is way stronger because I, because I have a kid.
Laura:I'm sure, like, it hasn't happened yet, but I'm sure as soon as I would feel that she was threatened, that's when I'll know. Yeah. And even if like, I
Katy:feel threatened, like, I need to keep myself around because of my son.
Laura:Yeah, yeah. Then Wolverine's going down. So could I get it to back down? Probably, but I would take significant damage.
Katy:Yeah, you would. Man, that All righty, up next, Western Gray Kangaroo. Ooh,
Laura:that's, I have chose like a wallaby or something. Wallaby, right, but definitely not the biggest. Not the biggest. A medium size of the blues. I have seen a grown man taken down by a red kangaroo. Oh my, and
Katy:red kangaroos are freaking huge. Yeah.
Laura:It snuck up behind him, punched him in the back of the head, and took him to the ground. That is so funny. Why? I mean, not for the guy, but, No, I know, but, I'd love to see it. We had to go in, like, With shovels and rakes. Yeah. To keep it away from, like, He just, he felt threatened. They're brutal. I guess he thought he was going to take his ladies.
Katy:Yeah, they're brutal. So if you know me, you know I love kangaroos by default, other than being an Australian animal. Um, while the Western great kangaroo is not the biggest kangaroo in Australia, another reason why I chose it, like I said. It is still freaking a huge animal. Yeah. Oh yeah. Males weigh up to 121 pounds, whereas females weigh about 60. Um, they are approximately 6 1 2 feet from nose to tail, and between 7, or 6 and 7 feet tall. Um, if they're like fully standing up, which most of the time they're not fully standing up anyway. Okay, so given the name Western Gray Kangaroo, they live in southwestern Australia. Um, so fighting it, um, I mean, for me, that's a tough call, but my son really wanted me to fight a kangaroo because, to quote him, Mom, listen, you could totally fight a kangaroo, is what I, what he said. So he has a lot of faith in me. When I asked him how, he said, first, try to punch it. If you miss, then you need to duck, which, So he's just
Laura:teaching you how to box.
Katy:Pretty much, pretty much. Which, for, if I was to fight a human. That is superior fighting skills for a five and a half year old, but then, I mean, he is a public school kid, and he's been in, you know, daycare his whole life, so he knows how to
Laura:defend
Katy:himself. He knows how to defend himself in, like, baby fight club. Um, but, if, if I were to punch and then duck for a kangaroo...
Laura:Oh, right in his feet. Right
Katy:in his... Which would be so funny like punch, duck, bam. Yeah All right, but a kangaroo is sizable. I definitely think out of all the animals This would be I would be the most evenly matched with this one out of all the ones I picked this would be the hardest because It is aggressively enough to go after you. You know what I mean? Like where most animals are going to choose flight. This one will keep coming after you. Um, so I think if I'm conscious of its feet, I could totally take it down.
Laura:Yeah, yeah. If you watched all parts of it.
Katy:Yeah. Because it would be, and I mean, they used to use, they literally used to fight kangaroos by
Laura:team versus fallout. Like if you jump it, like, I think if you could jump it, jump, like, get more of your weight on top.
Katy:Yes, and then beat the crap out of it. Yeah, yeah. Kick it. I think, I think I could, I think I could do enough damage to it. Because it is big, but, I mean, the male, it only weighs a little bit, so male's coming in at 121 pounds, I'm like 115. And so, it is a little bit bigger than me, but not by much. But a female only weighs 60 pounds. That's the size of my dog. Right. Like, I could totally take that. So, western gray kangaroo, I definitely think, not gonna probably take Luke's advice, where I try to punch and then duck, because that would be bad. But, Luke's fighting advice does get better. Oh good.
Laura:Oh, it gets good. Alright, um, I'm gonna go down and skip down to the raccoon. Oh! Which, I know what everyone's thinking, Lara, raccoons aren't even that big and they're so cute with their little masks and hands. I
Katy:immediately go to like, Ranger Rick with like, you know what I mean, like with the one with the ranger hat on from the magazines
Laura:when we were kids. So cute. Um, so yes, all true, small, cute, hands, yeah, but raccoons can be fierce and they are a common rabies vector species, so that means they carry rabies. Spear the rabies. Yeah. So they are not to be messed with. So raccoon natural history, they can reach up to 40 pounds, with the occasional male being weighing in at 60. Okay. That's like, that's like wolverine size. Okay. Yeah. Um, a 40 pound raccoon is mind blowing. That is heavier than a
Katy:bobcat. Yeah, that's, yeah, that's a freaking big raccoon. They
Laura:prefer to live in forests, but have adapted to urban habitat. They're omnivores and they're very intelligent. So, at the attack, picture the scene in Elf when he wants to give that raccoon a hug. Oh
Katy:my gosh, I forgot about
Laura:it. That's immediately what I thought of. Yeah. Um, so, raccoons will attack if threatened or sick. So besides rabies, I didn't know this, they can also carry canine distemper and feline parvovirus.
Katy:I knew distemper, I didn't know about parvo.
Laura:Yeah, they can get something from dogs and something from cats. Interesting. Um, so majority of attacks happen when people try to catch and or keep raccoons as pets. Duh. Okay, don't try and pet a wild animal or catch a wild animal. Did
Katy:you see that TikTok video I think I sent you of the, the raccoon in pajamas?
Laura:I mean, dude, it's my dream to have a raccoon as a pet because it would be amazing. They put it in like
Katy:a little like kids like footsie pajamas and they're pushing it in a stroller and I'm like As much as I want to say, guys, don't keep wild animals as pets, that is really freaking funny. Freaking cute. Yeah. Don't do it,
Laura:but it is adorable. So, I think I would most likely get attacked by either a rabid raccoon or accidentally starving a mom with kits, like, in my own attic. Like, I just walk up there and, oh crap, like, poke through the ceiling, yeah. She just comes at you. Like an elf. Yeah. So, my defense. I think I could, anybody I think could easily take on a raccoon. It is super puntable. Because,
Katy:like, elf, though, you would immediately be like, oh, come here.
Laura:Yes, take you off guard. Right, I would be like, look at this cute little raccoon. Ah! Yeah. But, so, even though totally puntable. Um, I would be so freaked out of making any physical contact with it because of rabies. Yeah. Because it's probably why it's attacking me. Exactly. Exactly. So the trick would be to try to fend it off without bodily contact. So definitely a long stick, or like throwing your shoes at it, or taking off my shirt and throwing my shirt over it like a blanket so that then I can You were taking off your shirt in this episode. I don't know This is the second time. Well, you had pants. I mean, whatever, man. Survival! Um. Survival!
Katy:Take off your shirt! Quick! No, Katie, take off your pants! Ha ha ha ha ha ha
Laura:ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha I'm glad we
Katy:actually know that we could survive. Like, I actually do have really good survival skills. Yeah. Other than just, like, take off my pants,
Laura:trust me. I'm really good at survival. So, um, I would, you know, take off my shirt, throw it over it, and take off. I'm not touching that raccoon. But, um, there would be, like, my, so in the last, in 2020, my mom, um, had a raccoon approach her, and either accidentally bite her. Oh, that's right! I forgot about that! It had the fishing hook in its mouth. Yes, I remember that. And it, like, came walking up to her and rubbed against her pant legs, probably in a desperate cry for help. And it got stuck on her pants. They both rolled down a hill together. As my dad is trying to beat it off with a stick and Didn't
Katy:work. The shit out of him.
Laura:It runs away as my mom is crying. Don't hurt it. It's just trying, it's not doing anything. And then she has to go to the hospital for rabies shots because she has a puncture on her leg either from the raccoon when it was rolling down the hill or the hook. So, I would be, I think it would be like my mom, where I'd be like, is it, maybe it's just trying to ask for help. Meanwhile, it's a rabbit raccoon trying to attack me. So yeah, for sure it would be like the taking me off guard. Look at this cute little raccoon. And then just trying to keep it away from me.
Katy:I remember when you messaged me about that, because I remember reading it and I was laughing so hard. Because it's the most random thing in the world! It was trying, I was trying very hard to type out, like, is she okay? But I couldn't stop laughing. That it was, I was just like at the, the craziness of
Laura:it. Yeah, what are the chances? Yeah. So yeah, raccoon is, you can take it on, but don't touch it.
Katy:Alrighty. The next one that I had was actually a duplicate. Laura had it too. And so then Kim gave it to us. So Laura, you can give me your feedback as well. But I had the Dingo. The Dingo. So, aka, Dingo ate your baby. Alright, found throughout every part of Australia, pretty much, pretty much everywhere in Australia, except for like, I think it was like a small region in southeastern Australia. Um, they're often seen as pests. Dingoes are a basal ancestor of dogs, although their classification is highly debated.
Laura:Right, because now they're all, like, interbred with dogs.
Katy:Yeah, now they are, yeah, for sure. So, who knows what it is running around on the street. They're just, like, feral dog canon species. Yeah. Um, so, although they aren't domesticated, and whether they were ever domesticated is somewhat debated, they have closely lived by aborigines for centuries. But, they, they just, they live side by side, and there was just like a healthy distance between the two. Um, so, could I fight a dingo? Yes. Um, unless it's totally rabid. Again, with a raccoon, that's the only reason why I wouldn't take it on. Um, but, it really is a medium sized dog, weighing 40 pounds, give or take. And my dogs at home are bigger than this, and while my dogs aren't rabid. I would treat them like any other dog and just scruff it and take it to the ground. Yeah. So I could fight, I could totally fight a dingo. Even though they're aggressive, I could fight a dingo. And
Laura:they're not that big. Like, they're like, like your size of dogs. Yeah. Yeah. They're not huge. It's not like a wolf. Especially if it took my
Katy:baby. Uh, yeah. I would s I would s Hold on to that ba Right on cue, baby gives a little talk there. Yeah.
Laura:No, no, that sounds
Katy:awful. No, not the No, I would totally scruff it and take it to the ground. How are you thinking of fighting it? Just like a s like a dog? Like kicking it or
Laura:whatever? Yeah. Yeah, I'd probably kick it. Um, I worked with two dingoes at the one zoo and they were so sweet and one of them was so timid and scared it's even, it'd be hard to think of them attacking, but yeah, they're not that big and that's why I chose them. So, perfect segue for mine because I also had the dingo and then I had to change. I was like, well fine I'll just choose another canine. So I chose the coyote. Very nice. Which is pretty similar. It's just our version of the dingo. We've
Katy:had, we've had coyotes over here in Texas going after people. Yes.
Laura:Quite often. Yeah. So, natural history, depending on where you live in the U. S., coyotes can be as large as German Shepherds and weigh up to 40 pounds. Like in the West, they're much bigger than they are in the East. They're intelligent, omnivores that range all over the U. S., Canada, Mexico, um, and they live pretty much everywhere. So, although it's pretty rare for a coyote to attack a human, it's not unheard of and it's becoming more and more common as we start, as we're sharing
Katy:space. Yeah, and that's what's happening down here is more and more developments are growing and so we're going into... And especially around here, a lot of the farmers around the cities and stuff, because I think the most recent ones have been north of Dallas, um, and Frisco, and they're taking out, um, farmland and building develop housing developments there. And so those coyotes, I always said those dingoes, those coyotes have been hunting there. For, you know, who knows how long. I mean, that's their home range and all of a sudden there's houses there and there's joggers out and about in the morning. And so that's what, that's what they've been going after. Joggers
Laura:and cyclists. Yeah, so I found this amazing study. Somebody did a study on coyote attacks, so I found all this cool data. Oh, cool. I mean, not cool coyotes attacks, but cool you found the data. So, according to one study that looked at, there was 142 coyote attacks over the last 46 years. Or when they did the study. The majority were predatory or investigative in nature. So most occurred out west, more, almost half of them in California. Like the vast majority, it's in California. Interesting. Predatory was often a child, while investigative was typically adults. 70% happened next to a person's house while they were recreating, like jogging or cycling. This is how they were
Katy:recreating. That's what it said. I'm gonna go recreate
Laura:this morning. Yep. Um, or if they were sleeping like in a tent or resting, um, and in two thirds of the attacks, force wasn't even needed to stop them. So it's not like they were like really out to get somebody, but most people are able to scare all coyotes off with yelling, running, throwing objects, which of course I would try first. But if that didn't work, I would kick, push, punch, anything I would do for like, yeah, just a wild dog. Um, until it left me alone or was on the ground.
Katy:I think, yeah, that one. I think same thing with the dingo. Like scruff it? Yeah, kick it. I think it would be fine. All righty. This is another pick from Luke Aardvark. All right,
Laura:So they got some serious claws, don't they?
Katy:They do. So also called an ant bear. Aardvarks are found south of the Sahara Desert in Africa, even though they're called an ant bear. In Afrikaans, aardvark translates to earth pig.
Laura:They definitely look more like a pig than a bear. For sure.
Katy:Aardvarks are shockingly large, weighing about 145 pounds, or upwards of 180, and they can be over 7 feet long. Dang! Yeah, surprisingly big. I mean, I know it's a tail, but still. Still. Um. And I should, and because of that size, I really should have put Aardvark on the Could You Ride That episode, but I never even thought about that. Me
Laura:neither, I didn't think it was that big.
Katy:Um, so, because if you Google, most of the pictures I found were really small, but I guess in the extreme cases. Yeah. Because they were saying about 145 pounds seems to be the average. Right. But they have been up to 180 pounds, which is a significantly bigger figure. Huge. Yeah. Anyway, huge aardvarks. Um, are they aggressive? Apparently, even though they just mostly eat ants and termites, yes. Um, normally, like most animals, they will try to escape first, but if they can't, they definitely will become aggressive. They are burrowing animals, so they will use their sharp claws to try and injure you, or apparently their back legs are also quite powerful, and they will try to kick you. Luke's solution, kick it back. Yeah. Um, which again, after he gave me the poor advice on ducking to beat up a kangaroo, I was very cautious about what his aardvark advice would be. Yeah. But, I did find some sources online that say that yeah, this is the most effective way to beat up an aardvark. Oh, what? Um, so, the things you can, I was just like, after a while I just started to Google like, how would you fight a...
Laura:That's amazing. Yeah, I just looked up like that attack. But
Katy:no, so other than Luke's advice, I'm, I'm honestly not, not sure because like you could jump it and choke it and hold it, but it's built like a pig. Yeah. So, so it has like a huge
Laura:neck, you know what I mean? It would be hard.
Katy:So if this was just survivable, I think. If it would try to claw me, yeah, definitely kick it. Play injured long enough, or just do something, like you said, like grab something nearby. Maybe climb a
Laura:tree for that one, because I don't think they can climb.
Katy:I don't, no, they definitely can't climb, but I, I mean, I guess depending on where you are. Yeah. I could definitely, I mean, you know, I could definitely shinny up a tree. Oh, you know. Faster than Moe, so that would not be a problem. But yeah, if no trees around, just run. Um, and I'm definitely not the person who would typically just play dead, because that's, I definitely have a stronger fight response in my brain than Um, especially if it comes to a freaking aardvark for crying out loud. Yeah, yeah. But, I mean, they are built like tanks. I mean, they're like, uh, they're essentially like a pig. Yeah. And so it would be hard to, like, really inflict damage on it
Laura:effectively. Yeah, besides maybe it's sensitive nose. Like, yeah, you just have
Katy:to go for the kick it. Just kick it like Luke said. Just kick it. Kick it and run. Kick it and
Laura:run. Well, speaking of playing dead, um, Some people might think that's how you should defend yourself from this next one, but it's not true. So my final one, and the one that is most, uh, like, I feel like I've been preparing for this one my whole life, and it's the black bear. Oh,
Katy:I'm excited. Oh, here we go. Like, could
Laura:I take on a black bear? This is my most, like, Another
Katy:one, another one, I was like, with a cat. I was like, man, what cat is she going to pick? I was like, man, is she going to go for a bear?
Laura:You are. Yeah. And like, only because I think I really do think that I could. So, um, natural history, black bears are native to North America, live in forest mountains and swamps. They're small. They're one of the smaller of the North. They are the smallest of the North American bears, but can still weigh up to 600 pounds. Yeah. Which
Katy:is still freaking huge.
Laura:Yeah. and three feet at the shoulder. Um, so bear attacks, although bears are dangerous, there have only been 61 people killed in North America by black bears in the last 121 years. Wow. Okay. So, you know, yeah. Not, you're way more likely for to die in other ways. Yes. Um, they are less likely to attack than grizzlies, because they usually run or climb first. Um, most, many attacks are defensive in nature, and those that are fatal are often predatory in remote areas where bears have little contact with humans. So if you're gonna die, it's probably because you're in a remote area and that bear was hunting you. Yes.
Katy:Terrifying. He wrote. You were going to be prey, just FYI.
Laura:So, like I said, I feel like I've been prepping for a bear fight my whole life because there are bears in the woods near where I live and so we're always like talking about like what would happen if a bear, you know. Um, so I also remember being very young. And my mom reading a bear attack story to us out of a reader's digest. Of course your mom would. Yeah, you know, in which a couple was attacked in their tent. The wife was a quick thinker and swung her binoculars against the bear's muzzle, making it let go of her husband and run away. I think it was probably a grizzly bear, not a black bear, but I will always remember this story and the message to go for the nose. Yes. So this technique of hitting the face and muzzle is totally true and is what the National Park Service recommends on their Staying Safe Around Bears website. They also say to not play dead. That's what you do with grizzlies. You do not play dead with black bears, but you're supposed to fight, well, run or fight. Interesting. Um, so if a bear attacked me and I couldn't run away or scare it away, you bet I would fight. Um, I'm not going to just give up. So if I had anything solid on me, which I. If I was hiking, I would have my stainless steel water bottle with me. I would smack that bear upside the face with that steel water bottle. And so hard. So hard. Um, and if I didn't have anything
Katy:on hand, I just, or binos, let's be real. Right? There's a chance that I'd have, if you and I are hiking Yes. We're gonna have binos on one of the, the two
Laura:burns. Just let's go mash it in the muzzle. Um, yeah. And if, if I didn't have anything, I'd still just punch it in the nose. Yeah. But you go for the nose and the muzzle until that bear leaves you alone. Yeah. And I saw some pictures of a guy who has been attacked, like he does, like bear denning studies mm-hmm. and he's been smacked by a bear multiple times, I think. And he's like, you know, it's not true that like, at least for a black bear that it could kill with one blow. Yeah. Um, their claws are meant for climbing, not for disen. Vowing. Yes. Yes. So like, he had like not
Katy:a toe knife, like a casa wearing toe knife. Yeah, totally.
Laura:Or maybe even aardvark claws, I don't know. Yeah, right. But, um, he just had like big welts on his side from it. But, yeah, so. Man, I,
Katy:that would be pretty badass to walk around though with the rest. Oh, yeah. Listen, if I had got hit on the, like, in the, in the torso by a bear claws and I had scars to prove it, I would just wear a bathing suit all the time just so people would be like. Oh,
Laura:totally. I was just thinking, I might. What, what happened? I'm a badass. I might even be more extreme and fake in that, like, if I did get smacked by a bear and all it was going to do was leave welts is that I would either, like. Make it scars like by like scratching, can you over it? Can you
Katy:hand just a little bit harder? Thank you.
Laura:Or just tattoo over it right over the welts so that they're like, this is what it looked like when it happened. Like, yeah,
Katy:that would be so funny.
Laura:Uh, so that was my final animal. I think I could take them all on. Some of them I would get seriously injured, but I would end those fights. Yeah. Even if I didn't end the animal, I would end the, I would end the fight.
Katy:I'll end the animal for you apparently so. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So I have one more and then an honorable mention that I'm honestly sh also shocked that you did not pick. All right. So my last actual animal, um, was another one of my sons, a camel. All right.
Laura:Oh my gosh. That one is, you're right, that one is as scary as a Okay. Listen, so, This one I have my doubts about. Listen,
Katy:Alright, He really wants me to fight a camel. Like, this was the one that he was the most adamant on. So much so, I was trying to drop him off at school, and he was delaying the car, like the car drop off lane. because he was so adamant on he needed to finish his explanation of how I was gonna like beat up a camel. All right, so I asked him which type of camel and he said it doesn't matter which one I would fight. He would, I'd fight them the same. I feel like, okay guys, I feel like I should be worried about him, but he explained these fights so logically. It's not like there was any aggression to it. It was more like because he loves wild crats and pretty much any other animal show. Clearly he's put thought into this. Yeah,
Laura:yeah. Like most kids do. Yeah, I think. Well, I think it's us most kids do. Maybe, maybe, yeah. I think we're, uh, we're weird, Laura.
Katy:Um, so, camels are, um, are herbivores, which originated in North America being the size of about a rabbit, then spread out all over the
Laura:world from there. So cute! That's the size a camel should have stayed. Yeah, right? I
Katy:wish way cuter. Um, they're currently found in Northern Asia and Africa. Um, humans have relied on camels for a long time and quickly domesticated them, giving people not only transportation and good caring, but dairy and meat as well. So how would I, how would I fight it? Well, according to Lucas, I need to throat chop it. Oh
Laura:my gosh. Yes,
Katy:throat chop
Laura:a camel. It would be the only way to take it down, because I'm telling you, I This is my only one It's a camel. I don't think you could
Katy:do it. I don't think so either, but Luke was Luke was
Laura:very convinced Yeah, only because, like, a young cam I firmly believe you could throat chop and take on a baby camel. Oh. Which is awful. Or ancient, or the
Katy:ancient rabbit
Laura:sized camel. But I have seen those big adult males Dude, no freaking way. Holy, stomp you into the ground. Like Immediately.
Katy:They can put your head in their mouths. In my mouth, yes. But I promised him I would include it because I, he could tell the speculation on my face of like, eh, and he's like, no, mom. And then he just kept going like, Hi yah, like, and I was like, Every time he kept saying this, I was like, Oh my gosh, he's my kid though, like he is so my kid. So anyway, because he's so deadpan about it when he says this stuff, I have to take him seriously. But anyway, Because he means it, yeah. Because he totally thinks, and he has, I, It's a little bit of pride, because he has, that his mom could beat up a camel? A
Laura:five foot tall woman take on, like, a big ol By
Katy:throat chopping! By throat chopping.
Laura:But, also... You're like a
Katy:ninja. Side note, did you know that camel wrestling is a thing? Okay, okay. Even though it's a natural behavior, the Turks have turned it into a sport. So they each get a male camel, and it's like a whole festival, like a whole tournament, a whole big shindig. They each get a male camel and like dress it all up into like all these garbs and everything like that.
Laura:I'm imagining like the uh, like the, the, what do they call the, the wrestlers with the... Oh yeah, yeah,
Katy:yeah, yeah, yeah, the uh, like Nacho Libre. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, it's, they're all completely dressed up, and they each, so they each have a male, and then they walk a female camel in heat between them, and then apparently to the male camels, they're like, oh, it is on, and they start to grind their teeth and foam at the mouth. Yes, I've seen it. Then they start beating the crap out of each other using their necks and try to take out their, each other's legs. Like a giraffe. Yes. Yeah, so instinctively, they know to take out... The other, the other camo's legs. So, you know, actually, what you should
Laura:be doing is just kicking them in the knees.
Katy:Which I still don't think would be effective whatsoever. No way, no way. So, which, but this again though, grinding the teeth, foaming at the mouth, that's another animal mating ritual that I'm so glad that humans didn't pick up. Oh,
Laura:dude, it's disgusting. It's the, maybe, it's, it is maybe one of the grossest things I've ever seen. It is. Because they also take their lips and they go, blub blub blub blub blub. Yeah. It is like puke gross.
Katy:So, yeah. It's nasty. You know, if, you know, a human man didn't grind his teeth so hard that he started to
Laura:foam. And then made his lips all blubbery and eugh. He just. So gross. So gross. Alright,
Katy:so back to camels. Alright, so the first camel to take out the, to make the other camel fall over is the winner. And then you ju it's like a bracket. And then how do
Laura:they stop the camels from fighting? Or do the camels just give up
Katy:as soon as once now, yeah. They, they know because like instinctively in the wild, this is the same way they do it. Like whoever's the one to take out the other one and make fall, make'em fall to the ground in the wild boom. That's the one that gets the, they just call out. Yeah. They, they just know. Um, and so yeah, to them, In their minds, because a female in heat just walked through. Fight. But, okay. Side note. Wouldn't that suck, though, as the male camel? Yeah, because you get nothing from it. You get nothing
Laura:from it. Like, what the heck? And it was like a, you know, a legitimate fight. Yeah. Talking about sexually frustrated.
Katy:You don't even get the prize at the end. Anyway. Alright, so how would I fight a camel? There's no way you can take out its legs. Luke's idea was to throat chop it. I am so, I so love his confidence in his mom. But I, man, I just don't think, I, I, other than jumping on its back and just riding it off into the sunset. It's a weapon.
Laura:That would be the only way to take on a gamble. I, I don't
Katy:know what else I would do. Alrighty, so one honorable mention though, I didn't go too much into detail because I surely thought you would pick this one. That if we legitimately had to fight, and I'm not talking like, Survival fight, but just like, beat the crap out of an animal. I really thought that you would pick an alpaca or a llama. Yeah, I know. And you didn't, because you hate
Laura:them. Yeah, but like, they're, I know what they're capable of, man. Those alpacas, they've got like, razor sharp
Katy:hooves. But wouldn't you just want to punch it for the sake of punching
Laura:one? I feel like I can't say that I work with Animals
Katy:to save Laura from her job. She can't say it right now. I, uh, if it depends. Is that, what is that, what movie is that from? The, the, the Dodge Duck Dip Dive Dodgeball Dodge Ball. Dodge Ball. Yeah. Dodge Dodge Duck Dip Dive Dodge.
Laura:Yeah. Yeah, dude. Alpacas. Yeah,
Katy:they're nasty creatures. Alpacas. Llamas. Yes. The camel. They're
Laura:all in the same family. They
Katy:are. Which is what made me think about as I was doing the camel lids, the camel, and then I was like, wait, there's no way Laura wouldn't pick one of these just for the sake of picking them. I'm not fighting it. One. Alright, everybody. That's our Could You Fight That episode. Again, disclaimer, we don't actually want to fight these animals in
Laura:survival. Yes. Huge disclaimer. We don't actually mean anything we just said. We...
Katy:It's just for fun. Just like, could you ride that horse? We're not encouraging you. Yeah, we're not encouraging you to go fight these animals, just as we didn't encourage you to go ride any animals. Right. These are just things that weird animal people talk about. Could you ride it? Could you fight it? Could you breed
Laura:it? We're really just elementary school boys talking about, yeah, who would win in a fight. Stupid crap. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Um, well join us next week, guys. We've got more episodes coming.
Katy:See everyone next week.