As incredible, complicated and sometimes even brutal as nature is, we don't have to always take it seriously. Join Katy and Laura for a "try not to laugh" challenge and hear some of the corniest nature jokes out there. Suns out puns out!
As incredible, complicated and sometimes even brutal as nature is, we don't have to always take it seriously. Join Katy and Laura for a "try not to laugh" challenge and hear some of the corniest nature jokes out there. Suns out puns out!
Hello and welcome to For The Love of Nature, a podcast where we tell you everything you need to know about nature and probably more than you wanted to know. I'm Laura. And I'm
Katy:Katie. And today we are going to be doing an a different, I guess, a different type of. Episode than what, what we've ever done. Really? Kind of, yeah. Yeah. It's like yes and no, but in a different way. Yes. So we're gonna be doing, could you be serious? Is what it's gonna be called. And we are gonna tell quite possibly the dumbest jokes you have ever heard back and forth. Does all related to nature? All related to nature, of course. To see if we can make each other laugh. And I told Laura right before we started recording, when I wrote these down and sent'em to Taylor, our interim manager, I thought that some of these were funny. And then I was reading over them earlier today and I'm like, I don't remember which ones I thought were funny because none of these are like, some of'em are, they're just dumb. Like, just so dumb. And that's probably why I was laughing. I lot of dumb
Laura:things, but we're gonna try not to laugh. So it's like a try not to laugh. Challenge, yeah. As much as we can, I think. And, uh, I don't know. We'll see how many we get through.
Katy:The problem is, is I can block crap out. That's, that's the problem. I can hands down when this one. Just cuz I can box that crap away. Is that, is that healthy? No, but can I do it? Yes.
Laura:Maybe I'll just shock you. Yeah, yeah. Or to my face and then you'll
Katy:be I was gonna say yeah. If anything, if anything that's, that's what I'll do. It just you and you crack up it yourself. We'll, make me laugh. Laugh. That's, I'm
Laura:sure I'm gonna be cracking up of my own jokes. Yeah. And that won't count. It's gotta be, you have to laugh at the other if Yes. Or you laugh or not to the other persons. Yeah. So I kind of thought this would be a way that. Shows, you know, you don't have to take nature seriously as we
Katy:never do. I was gonna say, as we never do. All right. Do you wanna start?
Laura:Okay, sure. What happened when Allie Algae and Freddie Fungus started dating, they took a liking to each other. So dumb, but I, who doesn't like a good liking joke? All right. Uh, I really
Katy:thought it, that was it. I thought it was gonna be a fun guy one. That's why I was thinking about it for a second. I was like, is it gonna be a fun, a fun guy? I would like, didn't be a fun guy. Joke. Okay. This is one of my leave. It is. That's what I was waiting for. Okay. Ready? Yeah. What did the mother tree say to the baby tree during their soccer game? I don't know. I'm rooting
Laura:for you. Oh my gosh, the puns are so off. Right, right. Okay, Fred, how can you tell an American crow from a fish crow, American
Katy:crow from a fish
Laura:crow? This is the nerdiest joke. I don't know. You just ask it, say, are you an American crow? And if it says, nuh nuh, it isn't. It's a fish crow. Which for any of you listeners out there who are like, what? It's because that's the call of. That's the call.
Katy:Yeah. That's the call of Fish Crow. Nerd joke Nerds. My son has, uh, or I have that my son has kidnapped from me. Remember that big bird sound bible I got in college? I still have that. I, yeah, cuz we, it was one of those amazing deals at Barnes and Nobles when the front, you're going outta business. Yeah. And it's just like all these random things, it's like, 20. It was like$25 originally. I don't know, like close to a hundred. Yeah. You flip through this huge book, type in the number for the call and it does the call and it's amazing. And Luke, my son, sits there and he goes through those all day. I, I, my bird calls have gotten much better just cuz of him sitting there, going through it, so. All righty. Another bird joke then. Why do tufted tit houses fly south for the winter? Because it's too far to walk. Oh,
Laura:I was immediately something thinking, something dirty. I guess we should also do, we have to make a like a disclaimer for this. Do you have any that are like inappropriate for baby ears? One of mine, one of mine, one of mine too, but I'll say it near
Katy:the end. Okay. My mine is also towards the end. Okay.
Laura:All right. This is just a statement joke. This is one of those, it's not a question. Okay. Okay. A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks, is this stool taken?
Katy:That was a good one. I'll say that is a good one. That was a good one. That was a good one. All right. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Uh, I don't know. Nothing. It just let out a little wine. Huh.
Laura:That's a pretty good one. That one's cute. That one that except it's got murdered.
Katy:Yeah. What did the say when it was murder and nothing. It just let out a little wine.
Laura:It just seeped out A little wine. Yeah. Right. Geez. Okay. So while admiring some dinosaur bones in the Museum of Natural History, a tourist take asks the guard. How old are these bones? The guard replies, they're 73 million of four years and six months old. That's a rather exact number, says the tourist. How do you know their age so precisely? Well, I answers the guard. The dinosaur bones were 73 million years when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago.
Katy:I've heard that. I've heard that one. Like a variety of different like years and how long they have. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Ready? Yeah. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work. Oh, that one
Laura:literally took me a second. I'm getting stuck on the horns part. Uh uh Okay. Another kind of statement. He won first Beaver. Sir, the river is running a full capacity with no obstruction. Second fever. Damn it.
Katy:I was gonna say, if anything, your reaction My, my favorite, so I don't know if I've told this before. My son, he does kind of pick up, I don't swear a lot around him, but occasionally. It's in context. Does, and Luke was like really, really little and stepped out the back door to call the dogs in. And Toby, he's like to, and he's like, tiny, this is like before the dogs even thought of him as a human. And Luke's like Toby. Toby. Now mind you, Toby's, you know, one brain cell can't hear. He's gonna be 14 here coming up just a few years ago. And Toby didn't listen, and Luke just turned around and just goes, damn it, Toby. Like that. Like right. And perfect. I was like, oh yeah, that's probably from me. So, all righty. Ready? Yeah. What do you call a bear with no teeth and no ears? Sad. Anything you like? I can't hear you.
Laura:That's a pretty good one too.
Katy:So mean though. I'm also like, cuz I did the same thing. Aww. No teeth, no ears. I felt so bad for it. Speaking of bears, did you hear that Bear 3 99 or whatever that is, had another baby now thought she was done having that famous grizzly bear that they thought that she was done? Nope. She, she came out of hibernation again this year and she had another cub. She's, the stop won't stop, right? She's the, the oldest oldest. The oldest living wild known of like oldest, oldest mom. They didn't, they didn't think that she was gonna have another cub. Yeah. So she's the oldest, huh? Fun bear fact.
Laura:Yeah. So, at summer camp we sometimes tell we have the kids guest jokes or give jokes and things, and this is one of them from a previous summer. What kind of clothing should clouds wear? I don't know. Thunder wear.
Katy:That's a good one. That's a good one. All right. What do you get when a dinosaur kicks you? Dead. A mega sore ass.
Laura:That's a good one too. Um, okay. When traveling through nature, it's always smart to bring a seasoned hiker with you. It's well-known fact that bears find unseasoned, hikers, bland and tasteless.
Katy:That's a good one. That's the same way. Always make sure that you're, you're at least faster than one person in a group kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. Always. What do you call a happy kangaroo? Hoppy close A optimist. Aw, that's
Laura:cute. Yeah. Yeah. When does soil get rich?
Katy:I don't know when Mother
Laura:Nature makes it rain. That's a
Katy:good one. That's a good one. Why do fish live in saltwater?
Laura:Oh, wait, I think I read this one last night when I was doing research for my
Katy:episode. Because pepper water makes them sneeze. Oh
Laura:geez. That one's terrible, right? It's pretty funny at the same time. What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Katy:I don't know. Lost.
Laura:Hi. Like some of the ones that are just dumb. Dumb. Just dumb.
Katy:Yeah, that's dumb. All right, you ready? What do you call a deer With no eyes? Oh, geez. I have no idea. Oh,
Laura:man. That's terrible. All right. All right. Uh, so my boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
Katy:That's a good one. That is actually a pretty good one. Why did this squirrel swim on its back to keep its nuts dry.
Laura:Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? I don't know, because they're really good
Katy:at it. Okay. You know what? That would actually be a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one though. Cause, cuz they're really good at it. That's another tea that's really
Laura:good at it. Yeah. Can you imagine how many people you could make? Believe that, right?
Katy:Especially, oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.
Laura:Did you ever see a hippo hiding in tree? No.
Katy:Just cuz they're, you're really good at it. It's like a, what's that? There's that spoof Disney Instagram called the Mouse Trap. Like Mouse trap News is what it's called. And they just do like random Disney, like fake things. And so just, but it's, it's so unbelievable. It's, yeah. Believable cuz they did one recently. That you can, they're having fast pass now for the bathrooms and they went on like for$500 or whatever. It was like you can have a fast pass and then you have special bathrooms. It's like so ridiculous and it's believable. I feel like we could pull that off with nature. Oh yeah. Things and so many people would be like, what? Oh, and uh, horrible. That's all. You just have to say it confidently. Yeah, as long as I can definitely say it confidently and people will believe. What did the limestone say to the geologist? Um, don't take me for granted wolf.
Laura:Um, what did the tree say to the bush when it asked it out on a date? I don't know. I don't want no shrub. Shrub is a guy that can't get no love from me.
Katy:I thought it was gonna be a different shrub joke or a bush joke joke. Like a different bush joke.
Laura:Yeah, yeah. No, no. Just a nineties.
Katy:Just a nineties joke. Just a nineties joke. It's fine. How do you properly identify a dogwood tree? Ugh. I know this one, but it's bites. Lion bark, right? Okay. Okay. Here's a good
Laura:one. In my opinion. In my opinion, this is a long one. A man boards a plane and is seated next to an air marshal and is sniffing dog. Soon the plane takes off and the Marshall says, sniffer search the dog walks along the aisle and stops next to a woman. He then returns to a seat and puts one Paul on the Marshall's arm. Good boy says the Marshall. What happened? Ask the man. The woman is in possession of marijuana. We'll arrest her when we land. Once again, sniffer searches the aisles. He stops beside a man then returns to his seat and places two paws on the Marshall's arm. That man is carrying cocaine. The Marshall explains the dog, walks up the aisle again, then races back, jumps into his seat, and poops all over it. What's going on? Demand the demands. The man, the Marshall, nervously replies, he just found a bomb.
Katy:That's a good one. Could you, could you imagine though, like I'm being
Laura:told
Katy:that
Laura:what,
Katy:uh, I, I will say, where was I flying out of Charlotte and. As you're going through tsa, they line people up in a single file line and you just go, you just walk and they're like, okay, go. Okay, go. And you walk, run one right after the other and they have like a, a dog and it's going around you. When I tell you the excitement of people in that line, like it was an insanely long line and you didn't hear a single person complain cuz everybody's like crazy that line. Look at the dog. Look at the dog. And there was one dog that was working and then there were two on break that were like hanging out nearby. So of course like, yeah, not a single person complained. So anybody out there who works for T S a look at Charlotte because nobody was complaining of a long, stupid line cuz everybody was just ex good pets at the end of it. Yeah, everybody was excited to see the dog. All right. Can you tell me what color the wind is? Uh, all blue. The colors blue. Pocahontas
Laura:blue. Oh. Um, okay. Then here's my questionably tasteful one. Okay.
Katy:Mines was a squirrel. Nuts. So, okay. A
Laura:naturalist noted on a walk that St. John's Wart is believed to be useful for mood, including anxiety and depression. An older woman who kept asking questions, asked another one saying, there seems to be a lot here. Don't the deer eat it? And the naturalist said, well, if they did, they might jump in front of less cars.
Katy:I mean, that's horrible.
Laura:That's so horrible. So horrible,
Katy:so horrible. How can you get down from a tree? Oh, wait, this is something about you can't, right? Yeah, you can't. Down the light comes from ducks and geese. Oh,
Laura:that's a clever one. Yeah. I like that one.
Katy:All right, I have one more then. And this is a, this is a statement one, not a question. The swordfish has no natural predators to fear, except for the pen fish. That one is mightier.
Laura:That's so dumb. Well, folks, just in case you needed a little chuckle to
Katy:Well, can I, can I just tell my, my always go-to joke. It's not date related. So, um, I don't know if I talked about this on the podcast before, but whenever I typically go under anesthesia, I always tell jokes. That is apparently what I do. Constantly and consistently, even when I try really hard not to, I do. Including, that's what she said, jokes, which is the best types of jokes. Yeah. I had a tumor removed outta my mouth and the, the surgeon, whatever they're called, said, was in there and she. The tech was like, oh, is that like all the tumor? And the doctor was like, yeah, it was a lot bigger whenever once I got in there and through all of the things pulling my mouth open, I was like, that's what she said. But the one that I always consistently tell when I'm going under, I don't know why, but it's so dumb cuz I heard it once and I thought it was so funny the first time I heard it. Where does the general keep his armies? Oh yeah. In his sleeves. I laughed so hard the first time I heard that. And that is always my favorite go-to whenever I'm going in under anesthesia. But I normally crack. I just say the, and I don't even know where I get'em because if you, if you came up to me on any random day and it was like, tell me a good joke, besides the general Army sleepies one, I wouldn't be able to, I wouldn't be able to come up with one, have nothing. Yeah, I have nothing. But whenever I'm go. Going under anesthesia. Apparently just some extra part of my brain opens up to all of these jokes and I mean, man, thankfully, like you know, typically whenever you're going under for surgery, you've already met with the doctor at least once or twice, thank God. Or else these people would be like, who lunatic is. Yeah. Who is this insane lady? If
Laura:somebody asked me for a joke, my go-to is actually one that I learned from a kid in camp at Little Rock. And it was the girl was like, what do you call three humped camel? And I was like, I don't know. And she was like, pregnant. I laughed so hard. And then my other one, which is not even a real joke, but that's the best thing, is having kids tell jokes. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So I was telling jokes to some like five year olds, and this one little boy just did not get the concept of a joke, like at all. And he is cracking himself up and he's so cute and he is making me laugh and laugh because he's just laughing. So hard, and at one point he's like morphing real jokes into just
Katy:like he's continuing it. Yeah. Luke on, on and on. Luke does that too because, because he finds one thing that's funny. So he'll just, yes, keep going. And then he just morph into, into
Laura:things. So then finally I was like, why? And he said it exactly like this. Everybody like, guaranteed this is what he sounded like. And he went, why did the duck build a nature center? And I was like, why? And he goes, because he loved nature. And then he,
Katy:and
Laura:I'm dying.
Katy:Oh gosh. Oh, kids, kids jokes are the best. Luke, Luke, I think one of the funnier ones that he said is he came, he stuck in the bed and it was like, I don't know, five o'clock in the morning. I knew he was there, but I was still half asleep, rolled over. I open up my eyes and he's just staring at me, you know, every parent's nightmare just staring at me and he just goes, uh, what, what is it? What did the cat, what did the cat call? Picture it painted of itself. And I'm like out of it. And I was like, what? And he goes, he goes, A portrait like that. And I laughed so hard. It was so, and I still have the video cuz immediately I like, reach over, grab my phone. I'm like, Luke, can you say that one more time? And he's, you can even tell even like he's sleepy. But he, he just had, he apparently he had a the night joke. Yeah. He had to come in and tell me that joke at 5:00 AM Yeah. Good grief. All right, everybody. Well, that wraps up this episode. Yeah, I mean,
Laura:challenge wise, I guess Katie probably
Katy:won. I don't listen. I told you I can box that crap away, but I, I cracked you once or twice. Yeah, you did. I can, I can box it away though. That's, that's just not fair to you.
Laura:Katie has no
Katy:emotions. I have no emotions. I can definitely box it away at again. Healthy. No useful. Yes. All right. All right guys, make sure you reach out to us on Twitter and choose a message on there. Or you can go ahead and go over to Patreon and support us so we can keep bringing you content week after week. Yeah,
Laura:we should be having a really exciting guest next week, so you're not gonna wanna miss it. Talk to you next week. Bye.