Have you ever wondered how the big bad wolf managed to wear grandma’s clothing and trick Little Red Riding Hood? Or which species of bean plant could actually grow tall enough to reach giants in the sky? (And while we’re at it, why are there giants in the sky anyway?) This week, Katy and Laura take a look at the scientific accuracy of fairy tales—what they got right, what they most definitely didn’t, and what these stories would sound like if the authors couldn’t take creative liberties.
Have you ever wondered how the big bad wolf managed to wear grandma’s clothing and trick Little Red Riding Hood? Or which species of bean plant could actually grow tall enough to reach giants in the sky? (And while we’re at it, why are there giants in the sky anyway?) This week, Katy and Laura take a look at the scientific accuracy of fairy tales—what they got right, what they most definitely didn’t, and what these stories would sound like if the authors couldn’t take creative liberties.
Laura: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome to For the Love of Nature, a podcast where we tell you everything you need to know about nature and probably more than you wanted to know. I'm Laura.
Katy: And I'm Katy. .
in today's episode
we're going to talk about how or what I should say fairy tales would look like and they would sound very different if they were scientifically accurate.
Laura: this, So this episode I was really excited for and I, I thought of the idea because there's these two really great videos on YouTube. If you haven't watched them, please check them out. But it's scientifically accurate, Spider-Man and Scientifically Accurate Ninja Turtles. And it's the theme songs and.
And they are amazing. Very scientifically accurate, very catchy.
Katy: And so that's what we're gonna talk about. So I picked two fairy terras, Laura picked two, two fairy tales. And we're gonna just go through 'em, but first we nature do,
Laura: Uh, sure. Um,[00:01:00]
Katy: what is that noise? I think it's my neighbors upstairs.
Laura: I don't know that that one had a paywall. Hold on.
Katy: Uh, well, I can talk about what I had then. So you guys remember way back when we started this podcast, I did the whole, let's have Katy walk around the grass for 30 days and see if I changed
Laura: Yeah.
Katy: and that was debated. Well, now I live in an apartment and if I walked in grass anywhere, it'd probably be through like dog poop.
Laura: Did you get the, you got the grounding thing?
Katy: No, I did not. No, I did not. But along the same lines, well kind of, but
Laura: You're gonna plug yourself in
Katy: No, no, no, no. This is also, cuz you know how I'm always looking for something to try, like something new to try. All right, so there's this stuff called mud water, M u D w t R.
And it's a mushroom coffee
Laura: Yes. I saw the, I saw the stuff for it online. I was like, nothing could sound more disgusting
Katy: no. Right. It there, right? It sounds horrible, but I do know a few people who [00:02:00] drink it and do love it. So I was like, you know what, let's try it. Because it's supposed to be the same jolt as coffee without, the jitteriness of it. And listen, I'm already on enough stimulant medication for my adhd.
The last thing I need is more. So I'm going, I, I mean, I'm gonna give it a try cuz why not? And I, I, I don't know, I always like trying stuff like this.
Laura: I brought this up to, my boss the other day because I saw it on Facebook, like it was an advertisement for me. And I was like, I love mushrooms, but I do not wanna drink them in anything. And I just hate the, I love their product, like the way they describe the product, where it's, you know,
Katy: Oh, yeah.
Laura: If chocolate and the earth had a baby or like something like that, I'm like, No, I bet it tastes like dirt, But I mean, maybe I'll be very curious.
I feel about it like the way I do about kombucha or kabua. Never. Nope. Not doing it. Nope.
Katy: Yeah. No, and [00:03:00] I've tried it to I've tried that. Can't do it. But I'll try it.
And that's my thing is I'm always, I am always interested to try it again. I'm. Like a tree hugger, but at heart I am. And I love it
Laura: but I'm not, but I am.
Katy: And I love trying stuff out like this. I don't know. I think it's, I think it's fun. So I'll give anything a little of a shot, so we'll see.
I was trying to see what was all in it.
Laura: Yeah
Katy: it said if Marcella Cha and Hot Coco had a baby.
Laura: That's right.
Katy: A really healthy baby is what it said.
Laura: Hi, . It's, that sounds good,
Katy: it's supposed to give you energy. It's supposed to be, give you energy focus and the immunity, like good stuff in it without the jitters crash and dependency on it. So we'll see.
Laura: that would be lovely.
Katy: Right. I'll let you guys know.
Laura: Please do I, I do have a very short thing for Nature News. So this article on [00:04:00] bbc says Ancient Eel migration Mystery Unraveled, and you guys would be really surprised. But did you know that we have no idea how, like, where the heck baby eels come from?
Like the entire eel migration thing is a
Katy: is a
Laura: They just show up like they are born in the fresh water. They go to the ocean and then they just disappear. And nobody's ever seen them have sex. Nothing. Like they do not know, they just know that they go to the Sargaso Sea and then something happens.
Katy: Something happens.
Laura: be magic. Who knows? Apparently this is actually real. I think this is pretty exciting. This is the
Katy: Did Eos make a sex tape?
Laura: That would be so good.
Katy: Just strap a tiny GoPro to one of 'em. Andre Oh, let's see what happens.
Laura: happens. Found them.
Katy: Surprise.
Laura: the, their final destination has long been suspected, but now they [00:05:00] finally did, and it's been virtually impossible to fit them with satellite tags.
Apparently they did. Apparently they figured it out. They put little satellite things on them.
Katy: slippery,
Laura: They have no arms and legs and they're, slippery is, and eel, they're the definition of
Katy: Yeah.
Laura: So they did get to track the eels on the last of their journey, and they did track them to the Sargasso Sea. Basically, the conservation of eels is becoming more and more of a thing. Um, The, almost a hundred years ago, it was assumed that they went there. But only now do we actually have proof that
Katy: a guess. Yeah.
Laura: before. I mean, Aristotle felt they came from mud, so at least we've come from there.
Um,
Katy: We're making some progress
Laura: so yeah, we are trying to unravel the mystery of eels. I actually saw my first ever eel, two of them this summer,
Katy: Oh, really? Cool.
Laura: in the creek. I was freaking out. Okay. I was with a [00:06:00] whole bunch of teenagers well, preteens, and I was like, Oh my gosh, there's an eel. And so they were all trying to help me catch it, and it was heck slippery.
I couldn't get it. I was so mad that I couldn't grab it.
I tried, but I couldn't.
Katy: The first time I ever saw an eel was Australia. I can't remember what kind of e it would've been.
Laura: can't remember. And I mean, of course I've seen him in the zoo, but like in the creek, like a fresh water creek. I was f I was in heaven.
Katy: Right. Yeah, no, I just remember we were in we rode mopeds and bikes, the, and then did like a bunch of rock copping back to this little pool, cuz it was winter there. And so like the water receded and there was a bunch of big waterfalls. It was all beautiful. We're like, hey, let's, it's, even though it's winter, it's still warm and sunny that day.
I mean, in a bus at Cairns so far North East Queens and so, so toasty. We're like, Hey, let's dive in. Then we saw this huge e come out, we're like, you know what? Not today , because it was a huge freaking eel.
Laura: Yeah. No, mine were [00:07:00] six inches long
Katy: yeah, no, these were huge.
Laura: They were just babies,
Katy: Yeah. No. Nope, nope. No, no. Alrighty. Do we wanna talk about fairy tales?
Just cause
Laura: Absolutely. Kim I know is really excited for this one.
Katy: Kim.
Laura: she said that we had really good fairy tales to do, so we're gonna wreck everybody's fairy tales. I mean, this is literally just,
Katy: But also, listen guys, this goes back to the thing. Fairy tales are so screwed up.
Laura: Screwed up.
Katy: so screwed up.
Laura: And, the whole thing is trying to come up with a moral and things like that. But
Katy: Yeah. But 90% of the stuff that they do. Yeah. Cuz 90% of what they do is completely in the opposite realm of moral anything. And then they're like, But let's teach you a good lesson. No you realize what just happened here. And both of mine have I'm just like, Why I would be embarrassed to even write about this.
And then No, it, no, it's gonna be published. And they're like, No. Yeah. It needs to, [00:08:00] That's the way it needs to happen.
Laura: I for, I, So I guess too, of course guys, fairy tales. Are inherently scientifically inaccurate. So, duh. But we're gonna talk about like some of the smaller things that like, Okay.
You wanna go first? You want me to go first?
Katy: I can go first. All right. So the first one that I have is Jack and the giant Bean stock
Laura: song. Nice.
Katy: because of course, Bean stock. Hello Nature Podcast. It only made sense. All right, so we're gonna go ahead, We'll break down the story in pieces and so we can explain a little bit more how it should have been written
So
Laura: Cause you know, we're better
Katy: We're just better at this. So let me give you a little bit of, Well, let me.
Laura: tell me a story.
Katy: Yeah. Or I was trying to think cuz we were gonna divide it up, but this one, it's a little bit difficult to divide it up. So I'm gonna jump back and forth here a little bit. All right, so for those of you who haven't read Jack and The Bean [00:09:00] Stock recently, here's a refresher.
This is a very short version from Wikipedia. Thank you Wikipedia. Jack, a poor country boy, trades the family cow for a handful of magic beans, which grow into a massive towering bean stock. Reaching up to the into the clouds, Jack climbs the bean stock and finds himself in the castle of an unfriendly giant.
The giant senses Jack's presence and cries Fifi fo thumb. I smell the blood of an Englishman. He be he alive or be he dead.. I'll grind his bones to make my.
Laura: make my bread.
Katy: Outwitting the giant, right? Outwitting the giant Jack is able to retrieve many goods once stolen from his family, including a bag of gold, an enchanted goose that lays golden eggs and a magic golden harp that plays and sings by itself.
Jack then escapes by climbs back down, chops down, and the giant who is pursuing him falls to his death, and Jack and his family prosper. Okay. Which you let go, Jack. Let's pause for a freaking second and let's talk about a, I'm gonna snip it, of the history [00:10:00] and some of the freaking, What did I just read?
All right. So the original story that was published in London by a j Roberts in 19, or sorry, 19 goodness, 1734, was called Jack Springs in the Enchanted Bean. So let me, Yeah, let me
Laura: Enchanted Bean,
Katy: Enchanted Bean, and of course, like you, yeah, just one. And of course you have one version and then all the spinoffs from it, which is how fairy tales happen.
So clearly this first one, there's a reason why there, there was like spinoffs of it because it is not at all meant for children. Like most fairy tales. I don't wanna go into super great detail because it was just horrible. But if you look up the Jack Springs and the Enchanted Bean storyline, you'll you'll probably regret it forever.
But basically[00:11:00] if um, any kids in the area wanna close their ears, what happens is the reason why the giant stole the stuff to begin with is because the grandma and the newer version. It's the boys mom basically won't give him those beans. No. In the original one, it's his grandma.
And the reason why she won't give him these beans is because she's like if I give him this bean and then he'll You know what? This is gonna be mine now if you guys are gonna be this horrible, this stuff's gonna be
Laura: Oh, okay. So the giant sees that they're immoral and takes their things.
Katy: Basically, kind of. I don't, it doesn't really say that it, he saw it as immoral, but the giant came down and stole from them. Like why Specifically them?
Laura: them?
Katy: I mean, one can assume
Laura: assume
Katy: I mean, go up, he'll get stuff, he'll prosper. But the reason why, and he'll leave me essentially. So she's keeping him hostage in his house because she's been laying next to him, is what it says.
Yep. And so the giant [00:12:00] steals all their crap, takes it up into his castle and it's a grandma holding their grandson the hostage and just creepy, just stuff that should not be happening is happening.
And other versions The Giant is unnamed, but many name him Blunder Bore
Which is the, his name in one of the stories. And one of the versions called Jack the Giant Killer, which is really
Laura: I have heard that
Katy: And in the story of Jack Springs, another version, the Giants name is Go,
Laura: Go
Katy: Gogo, Gogo,
Laura: I've definitely heard that name before too, but I don't think it was in from Jack
Katy: Gogo and Blender Bore. And I feel like those. Those need to be stated because I feel like instead of just saying the Giant, we should refer to
Laura: should definitely saying Gogo
Katy: and Blunder Bore. So there are a ton of different versions. But yeah and that's why there's probably [00:13:00] spinoff because that is just creepy as I'll get out.
All right. So let's start with the first key factor here. The beans stock. Obviously the centerpiece of the story.
Laura: story
Katy: Besides the immorality of creepy grandmothers there are way more species of beans in the world than I think we actually need to know about.
Laura: about
Katy: there are
Laura: please tell me out many
Katy: 400 different beans species, which is way more beans than I ever anticipated, cuz I primarily eat like pinto and black beans, you know what I mean?
What are the other 398 beans like? I'm not,
Laura: I
Katy: I'm just not.
Laura: your colon is missing out on so much
Katy: I need to explore this on the 398 beans most of these bean plants only grow a few feet high, but the world record for the tallest bean stock
Laura: Thank goodness there is one,
Katy: Right. Is from a runner bean plant, which was 46 [00:14:00] feet high.
Laura: Hey, that's respectable,
Katy: It is,
Laura: it couldn't be climbed on, right?
Katy: Correct. No, it is like a little scr So this record stock, however, is one of those, it's the tiny flimsy that needs support.
So if Jack went this route, it would probably be called Jack in the giant pole. In bean stock. Because, Cause you have to
Laura: the jack the pole Glr.
Katy: Yeah. Because it's like it's gonna fall over. There's no way. But. if they were scientifically accurate. There are larger plants out there that Jack could climb in particular vines. And so I'm not gonna go into like redwoods cuz we all know redwood. Trees are high, are very tall, but they're here in the US Jack, the bean stock, was from Europe.
And I mean, so we might as well
Laura: I'm already loving this. What's the tallest plane he could have climbed in
Katy: The vine because that would make sense. There are stable vines. So of course this is for the love of nature. So we're gonna tell you [00:15:00] all the impractical ideas instead of the practical ones. So in the longest vine category, cuz who doesn't love a good vine to climb?
I'm gonna give you the top three longest vine. Coming in at number three, the philodendron, which is both their common name and their scientific name. And all the though these can grow to be 1,114 feet long. They also are native to Central America. So again, Jack would not have this one in London. The next vine is the ribbon vine.
Now the record vine was found in Surinam, also South America. So it's also out of the game, but that one hasn't been known to grow in 1,968 feet, which is about 0.3 miles. Yeah. So I'm not well but still, but 0.3 miles I'm not sure where Jack was climbing to, but it's probably not far if he's only going up that [00:16:00] high.
So the only
Laura: a cloudy day,
Katy: Yeah.
Laura: they're low,
Katy: very low. The only one that even comes close to length and the location, which is predominantly in Asia, and it still goes into Europe. Some
Let's see here, The lowest clouds that are recorded are at around 6,500 feet, so on a very low cloud day.
But this one is called the snuff box sea bean, or the elephant creeper. And this one is at 4,900 feet, or just shy of a mile. So that is pretty high. Still not,
Laura: well long,
Katy: Yes, it's long. Yeah. But this one is a little bit more stable than some what, some of the other ones, it's not like a little, like fill rin for crying out loud.
It's like a house plant. So almost, but not quite. But also jack and the snuff box bean, sea bean, or jack and the elephant creeper. I don't know
Laura: elephant creeper is a cool one. One
Katy: the elephant, but it also sounds like you're creeping on elephants. [00:17:00] But
Laura: get the elephant creeper, or an elephant who's being creepy.
Katy: Yeah. . Yeah. Oh goodness. So the other factors within the story is, although we know that the town and the sky could not simply exist, maybe it is on the side of our mountain cliff and they just don't know their local topography. Um, What's that? Jack, When Jack met blunder bore slash gogo up there gigantic is, is a very, like, it's a very, it's very real condition. I tried to say such a straight face and you lost it, but it, it's a.
Laura: is exactly what I hope this episode would be like a scientist taking things just way too far and literally,
Katy: But it [00:18:00] is so gigantic and blunder bore. Um, it's very rare, but it happens when a child or adolescent has high levels of growth hormone in their body, which causes 'em to grow very tall. Gigantic system is actually treatable, which I didn't know that. You just have, Yeah. You just have to be able to diagnose it early enough.
And so that's pre predominantly why you don't see gigantic as much anymore. Because we can treat it like, I mean, kids get blood work, they see the signs and symptoms. Doctors can normally point it out and they're like, Hey, something's going on here and they can treat it. And it is, it is curable where back in the day you ended up just having way too many growth hormones.
And so you can prevent gigantic system because, oh, there are a lot of. Problems like heart problems, and other major organ issues. There are very tall people and then that, there's gigantism, which are two completely different things. The [00:19:00] pituitary gland, which is located at the base of your brain normally produces growth hormones, but a tumor on their pituitary, which oftentimes is what they like have found, Um, which my sister has on our pituitary, which is why we say she's so tall compared to the rest of
Laura: the rest of my family.
Katy: when I say so tall, she's five six, but that's very tall for a woman in our family. But because that tumor is there, your pituitary is gonna produce, an excess growth hormone and result in gigantic system.
It's more commonly affects children assigned at male at birth than female at birth.
Some characteristics, again, they're outward characteristics. It's a very prominent forehead and prominent jaw, gaps between their teeth, thickening of the facial features, large hands and feet with thick fingers and toes. Some other, more unfortunate ones, which is why you really wanna make sure you catch it early is, like I said before, the enlargement of internal organs, especially your child's heart.
Excessive sweating, [00:20:00] double vision or difficulty with side vision, like outta your peripherals. Constant headaches, joint pains, delayed puberty, irregular menstruation for females sleeping problems such as sleep apnea and extreme muscle weakness. So you might be really tall and big, but you, your muscles just can't keep up.
Laura: That's so sad.
Katy: Right. So really this poor blunder bore is honestly probably living in the sky to avoid being made fun of with a killer headache and constant joint pain, excessively sweating with sleep apnea, just trying to get some treasure from a creepy old grandma and just, living his life up there.
I mean, I would be bitter and probably wanna be like fi, Fifo, foaming and and smelling blood of Englishmen to make his bones into your bread. I mean, I would be kind of bitter too if I was made fun of my whole life. So that's Jack and the giant Bean stock. I just wanted to focus on a couple things.
There's so much more you can pull out that especially good Lord if you pull out like the original [00:21:00] version.
Laura: Oh
Katy: besides the creepy grandma, there's all kinds of stuff that is like, what the heck did I just read? But those are the highlights. Bean stock, we'll just call it Jack and the Elephant, Creeper and gigantic is real folks, but treatable. Laura,
Laura: I, I've always felt bad for the giant in that story because he was just mining his own business and Jack even stole stuff
Katy: And well, and, and now
Laura: then killed him.
Katy: Yeah. And then now we might know why he, the giant killed us. Like killed him. And in one of the versions, so the giant has a normal size wife, and so Jack like sneaks into the house and the, the wife sees him and she's like, Yeah, go ahead and take one thing. And so the wife is like trying to give it back.
So like she knows the husband's gonna come back and be all angry and stuff. But, so, I mean, the giant, again, she's trying to just try to keep a piece and he's staying away from people, but this little, little punk is coming and stealing all his
Laura: [00:22:00] Punk. Um, and you didn't even address the fact that, like he says, that he can grind his bones to make his bread. What kind of freaking bread is that? Giant eating
Katy: I mean, crunchy.
Laura: bone meal
Katy: Yeah.
Laura: Yeah. Geez.
Katy: a little a add a little cl to it, you know.
Laura: add a little.
Katy: on. . Yeah. All right.
Laura: Oh my, um, my first one I'm gonna do, is called Little Red Cap by the Brother's Grim, and it's where Little Red Riding Good comes
from., so
Katy: I, I'm can tell you
Laura: let's just go through this story.
Katy: Yeah.
Laura: Not only, So I'm gonna stop and make some, some observations here about both science and in general WTF of what's
going
Katy: Yes. Right. Fairytales. What the heck are
Laura: those brothers, Grim ones in particular are really weird.
Katy: like Yeah. Continue.
Laura: So this one was [00:23:00] written by the Brothers Grim and these two were German brothers, who lived, from 1785 to 1863.
So older. Okay, here we go. Once upon a time, there was a sweet little girl, everyone who saw her liked her, but most of all her grandmother who did not know what to give the child next, once she gave her a little cap made of red velvet because it suited her so well and she wanted to wear it all the time, she came to be known as Little Red Cap.
Okay. Weird nickname,
Katy: I mean, know where it comes even close to Princess Dirty Toes.
Laura: Very true. But, and like, I would just be like, this is a lame nickname. I don't wanna be called just my after my hat. What if I'm not wearing it?
Katy: Yeah.
Laura: So her mother said to her, Come little red cap, here's a piece of cake and a bottle of wine. Take them to your grandmother. She's sick and weak and they will do her well.
Okay. Pause again. Um, wine and cake. This grandmother,
Katy: that would make me do
well. I, mean I
would feel so much
Laura: I don't [00:24:00] think that there is much medical, uh,
Katy: to cake. soothes the soul like
Laura: Yeah, No, emotionally.
Katy: something that wine can't fix.
Laura: agreed. I'm just saying.
Katy: The mom, No listen, you're judging the mom. The mom knew what she was doing.
Cause
the mom and the mo. Yeah, the mom is now a mom and is like, you know what I am saying, I'm sorry to my mother because I know Cuz really the mom probably just needs a break and
Laura: I just
hope that
whatever the grandma has isn't diabetes or something else that she's sick we from, because cake is not gonna help it.
Katy: It's not, but I could see the mom being like, I need a break.
Laura: That's what
this is about. This is just send out little red cap. Yeah, this is,
Katy: for send out little red cap. And then here's an apology gift for my mom, because I'm sure I bugged her the crap out of her like this too. Here you go. Cake and wine. Onward child.
Laura: So her mom says, Mind your manners and give her my greetings. Behave yourself in the way and do not leave the [00:25:00] path. Or you might fall down and break the glass. And then there'll be nothing for your grandmother. And when you enter her parlor, don't forget to say good morning and don't peer into all their corners first.
Okay.
Such some
Katy: in the corners?
Laura: my mom always gave me pretty weird advice I thought as a kid going out like, All right, now if you're gonna go outside and play, make sure you don't pick up any needles or any balloons. And I was always like, That's a really weird thing to, to specifically tell me. Makes sense now.
But again, like a weird thing, like don't look into the corners first,
Katy: Don't look into the corners. Okay. Hold on. Go ahead. Continue. I'm gonna
Laura: But yeah, there's just gotta be a phrase. I'm assuming like, I don't know. Don't look at, don't look at how weird your grandma's house. Like, don't judge your grandma's house. I don't, I don't know. But, um,
Katy: All I'm saying is a lot of thing about cutting corners. Nothing about not looking
Laura: don't appear in all the corners first. I don't know. So I don't know what kind of relationship Little [00:26:00] REDCap has with her mom, but she says, I'll do everything just right and shakes her mother's hand.
Katy: clearly a very formal relationship.
Laura: far relationship.
The grandmother lived out in the woods a half hour from the village. Okay. And a, um, a
Katy: How old is Little Red Cat? That's a hike.
Laura: definitely, Well, and, and approximately, so this is, she lives a half an hour from the village, so the average walking speed, uh, of a
Katy: Did you figure this out?
Laura: Uh, the internet told me average walking speed. Thank you.
Internet. Uh, it usually takes a kid 20 minutes to walk a mile. So average walking speed for a five to 12 year old is 2.89 to 3.1 miles per hour.
Katy: Okay.
Laura: So yeah, it could be like every bit of a mile, maybe more. So she goes,
Katy: And I assume she's gonna skip part of this way cuz she's, you know, a little kid.
Laura: Right, Oh, sure, Shirley [00:27:00] Frolicking is involved. When little red cap entered the woods, a wolf came up to her just boom. Right off the bat, she walks into the woods and a wolf.
Katy: Wolf. Yeah.
Laura: stop here. For scientific accuracy. Accuracy, this is very unlikely to have ever happened, because typically wolves don't approach people.
However, they have been known to hunt, solo. So like they don't always hunt and pack. Sometimes they do hunt alone. So the fact that one wolf came up to her, that's not as weird as the fact that a wolf came up at all. And, but I guess if it was really, really hungry, but if this was the case, then our story would end right here because that wolf would've just eaten this
Katy: Emaciated Wolf. Yeah. . Not anymore,
but yeah.
Laura: yeah. So, all right. Um, she didn't know what a wicked animal he was and was not afraid of him. Again, wicked. That's a really strong term here because that implies, that implies that the wolf has some sense of moral morality, and
it's a wolf.
So like he's
Katy: what? Wolves [00:28:00] do.
Laura: Yeah. So the wolf says, Good day to you.
Little red cap. All right, we're
just gonna ignore the fact the wolfs can. Yeah, these, Yeah. He's obviously been watching her.
Katy: Yeah.
Laura: She says, Thank you wolf. Where are you going? So early little red cap to grandmothers. And what are you carrying under your apron? That's a weird thing. , are you happy to see me?
What's under your apron?
Katy: right?
is
that a bottle of wine? No, it's not . You
Laura: grandmother is sick and weak and I'm taking her to kiss some cake and wine We baked yesterday and they should be good for her and give her strength. Little red cap. Where does your grandmother live? This is just a stranger dangerous story in general. Like he's asking a lot of questions. Her house is a good quarter hour.
From here in the woods under the three large oak trees. There's a hedge of hazel bushes. You must know the place
Katy: man. She is so specific. But this is also very much so like a little kid, like you crack the code of a little kid. They are gonna spill the beans on
[00:29:00] everything.
Laura: think that this obviously must have been the time before people cared if their kids were eaten by wolves. Um, because you wouldn't, why would you send your kid into wolf infested forest? Unless this is all just a ploy of the mom is just donezo with little red cap
Katy: Yeah. Yeah. Go out there and play with the wolves.
Laura: Just go take these to your grandma's.
Hopefully, We'll, while she's
out.
Katy: wink. Yeah.
Laura: Yeah.
Katy: There's a little red cap, just shakes her mom's hands. Like, Okay. Like none the wiser,
Laura: The wolf thought to himself, Now that sweet, young thing is a bit, taste is a tasty bite for me. She will taste even better than the old woman. You must be slight and you can catch them both.
Katy: I'm just,
Laura: Okay. So
Katy: gonna hold . Yeah, I'm gonna hold all the jokes.
Laura: Yeah. Ugh. Ugh. But scientific accuracy, pause, wolves hunt in two ways. Ambush or chasing.
Either way. It doesn't involve thought ahead traps. Um, so like,
Katy: or, Or pleasantries of
greetings. [00:30:00]
Laura: Yeah. But I'm thinking in particular, no wolf is thinking Okay, if I wait and trick this kid, it will lead
me. You know? No, this is
Katy: They don't set traps for elk like that. Not
Laura: If they do start doing that, we're done
Katy: Yeah. That's terrifying.
Laura: Also, one little girl would be plenty for one wolf to eat, not to be
Katy: He should have just, he should have just taken her there. I mean, and he, he could have saved himself a ton of
problems. Just eat her there.
Laura: and be, because the average wolf can eat 20 pounds of meat in a single meal, and surely little red cap is more than
20 pounds. Like Allora is now 20 pounds and she's only one, and I'm not sending her anywhere alone. Um, so little red caps, probably at least seven
Katy: Yeah.
Laura: So yeah, plenty for one wolf.
He walked along a little while with her little red cap, then said, Little red cap. Just look at the beautiful flowers that are all around us. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He convinces her to go off into the woods. She is like, Oh my gosh, these flowers are so beautiful.[00:31:00] And she runs off the path into the woods looking for flowers like an idiot.
Okay.
Katy: exactly what her mom told her. Not she shook her mom's hand on this
Laura: I know broker word. So little red cap is going off. She's picking all sorts of flowers. It says each time she picked one, she thought she could see it even more beautiful when a little way off and she ran after it. Going further and further, do you know how many toxic flowers there are in the world?
Like a lot. Okay. And in Germany, there are some extremely toxic plants. Giant hog weed grows there now, although it might not have at the time. But things like poison hemlock, which we've talked about in previous episodes, that kills children all the time. Um, and is it pretty flower? That little red cap would probably like to pick stinging nettles, all sorts of things
Katy: I do understand her fu pain though, because if I'm out Hering, like looking for Sal Manders and stuff, there's always like a rock or a
Laura: a little
Katy: right over there,
Laura: Yes.
Katy: do understand the temptation of being like, I can go get, I can [00:32:00] go flip that rock. I can go flip that rock. Clearly. That's
where it
Laura: I feel like little, little red cap's probably adhd.
Katy: Yeah, right. . That's why we're late. That's why I'm like, ah, I understand.
Laura: Yeah. So anyway, while this is going on, the wolf goes to grandma's house. He knocks, she asks, who is there? He says, Little red cap. I'm bringing you some cake and wine. Open the door, first of all, geez. Um,
Katy: Suddenly, where did his manners go?
Laura: Yeah.
Secondly, I feel like the only way this would work is if the grandma had bad hearing, because how could you mistake your granddaughter's voice for wolf ? Um,
Katy: or just like a man's. Cause you imagine
Laura: you imagine? That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I have to be gruff. At the very least you'd think. So he goes in, he eats her , um, then he.
Katy: would've been easier just to eat the little girl.
Laura: Then he puts on her clothes, puts on her cap, goes into bed, pulls the curtain shut. So little red cap, who's gotten her little [00:33:00] bouquet at this time. She continues on her way. To her surprise, she finds the door open. She walks into the parlor. Everything looks so strange, and she thought, , I really hope this is the line that it's from the story.
She says, Oh my God, why am I so afraid? I usually like it at grandmothers.
Katy: Well, she probably looked into the corners this time.
Laura: I, yes, and probably saw insane amounts of blood from the grandmother
Katy: The massacre that just
Laura: or at least subconsciously smelled the metallic smell of blood. Because yeah, eating your grandma would be
Katy: gotta live. Yeah, there's gotta be something left behind.
Laura: So she calls out like grandma thinking, you know, something might be off.
She goes in, she looks, she sees her grandmother lying in bed, but looking really weird. Again, there's only a few options for how this could work. Have worked. Either little REDCap has some serious vision and hearing issues, or she's just really dumb
Katy: Yeah. . Yeah.
Laura: because it'd be pretty hard to mistake, or, [00:34:00] Well, I guess I forgot a third one.
Or her grandmother was really not really hairy. Yeah,
Katy: Just a really hairy grandma.
I've seen him. I mean,
Laura: yeah. Yeah, that's true. I'll probably be a really hairy grandma. Um, being honest. So she does, you know, for any of you haven't read Little Red Riding. The Little Red Cap does the, Oh, Grandmother. Grandmother, what big ears you have. Better to hear you grandmother, what big eyes you have, blah, blah, blah.
Then
Katy: gotta be dumb at this point,
like,
Laura: haven't, You're not figuring this out yet. From the first thing. Then she goes, Oh, grandmother, what big hands you have? Faults. Grandmother doesn't have hands. Grandmother has
Katy: Pause. Yeah.
Laura: And paws don't even look like hands. Little Ride
Katy: even, Not even close hair. Arms, pause. Not the same
Laura: So finally she says, What big mouth, all better to eat you.
He then gets up and he eats her in one giant gulp. And then he climbs back into bed, falls asleep and begins to snore [00:35:00] really loud.
Katy: because you know
Laura: So that's what you do after you get a full belly? Yeah. So a Huntsman is passing by and he thinks that old woman is snoring so loudly better see if something's wrong with her.
So either really nice guy or just really nosy
Katy: Yeah.
Laura: So he goes in and he's like, he says, So here I find you, you old sinner. I've been hunting for you a long time. Again, little harsh, little, uh, you know, morality. Judgment here. Um, he was about to aim his rifle and blow this wolf to kingdom come when he thinks that the wolf might have eaten grandmother and that she still might be rescued.
Nope. Now what happens when you
Katy: Yeah. That's not what happens. Yeah.
Laura: There's no living person
Katy: know what? I love the optimism. Um, but not, not
now.
Laura: So what he decides to do instead is take a pair of scissors and cut open the wolf's stomach.
Katy: [00:36:00] Wait, did he shoot the wolf?
Laura: no, he doesn't. He's like, she might be in there. So instead he cuts it open with a pair of scissors that he just has handy alive.
Katy: Okay. You know, cuz that's not
Laura: Listen, listen, The wolf is still sleeping here. Um, after a few cuts, he sees the
little red
Katy: be out.
Laura: Yeah. Girl jumps out. She says, Oh, I was so frightened. Was so dark inside the wolf's body. Nope. Not. What happens? Um, then grandma comes out, she's okay. Then for some reason, little red cap fetches some very large stones and fills the wolf's body with them.
Katy: That's, that's morbid
Laura: Like, is it to like, when he wakes up, he still thinks he's full?
Katy: probably. Yeah.
Laura: I guess because then he wakes up, which
Katy: he can't poop
Laura: Would absolutely would've woken up at the first cut of those
Katy: Right.
Laura: Um, but let's say he didn't, he tries to get runway and the stones were so heavy that he immediately fell down, fell down dead.
But I assure you this was not from the stones. This was still from [00:37:00] being disembowled .
Katy: Yes, exactly. Yeah. There's, there's a few more problems here than just stones at this
belly
Laura: So the three of them were happy. The Huntsman skins the wolf and then the grandma and little red cap eat and drink wine. And then little red cap thinks to herself, As long as I live, I will never leave the path and run off into the woods myself if Mother tells me not to the end.
Katy: Again, it's these German fairy tales that are just like harsh.
Laura: I'm also not sure if this is the best, like moral or message of the story.
Yeah. Oh, for sure. Scare tactics. But listen, if this, the only thing that they got out of this story is don't leave the path. I really think that the message here should be something like, maybe doll listen to strangers.
Katy: There's so many more
Laura: don't walk alone through wolf infested forests. Talk to your kids about the dangers of talking woodland creatures like , any of those things.
Katy: The differences between a wolf and a grandma. Like just a parents voice, [00:38:00] everything. Oh goodness.
Laura: little red cap. And how incredibly inaccurate it is.
Katy: Our, i Ready for my next one?
Laura: Yes, please.
Katy: Sleeping Beauty,
All.
right. Shall we begin? Of
course, because that's why we're here. Sleeping Beauty is the French title of the story, but there's another name. It goes by the German title, which in English is Little Briar Rose.
Laura: Oh yeah.
Katy: Sleeping Beauty begins with a princess whose parents are told by a wicked fairy that their daughter will die when she pricks her fingers on a particular item.
In some versions, the item is flax, like the plant, like a flax seed.
Laura: just a plant
Katy: yep. Or in the version that seems to be the more popular one is the spindle.
Um, The parents rid the kingdom of these items in hopes of protecting their daughter, but the prophecy is fulfilled regardless, because there wouldn't be a story if it wasn't [00:39:00] fulfilled.
So of course, something has to go wrong. Um, instead of dying though, like the fairy wicked fairy said, the princess falls into a deep sleep. So the fairy was only half right after some time, she is found by a prince and is awakened some versions. The prince just kisses her and the true horror and messed up fairy tale form.
Another version says, So what is the prince? Which is what, what Disney took. Okay, just kisses her. Done the other one.
Laura: other one
Katy: Again, children divert your
ears. Listen. So there's a king that was out hunting the king came across sleeping beauty, who seemed to be enchanted. He believed that she was asleep, but he called her.
She remained unconscious, crying aloud. He quote unquote be held her charms and felt his blood course hotly through his veins. He he lifted her in his arms and carried her to a bed where he [00:40:00] gathered the first fruits of love,
Laura: love.
Oh my gosh.
Katy: right? Wtf y fairy tales or why? And you know, like as a
Laura: doesn't matter
Katy: no, ever, Yeah, this is, yeah, doesn't matter. But these kind of creepy things happen way too often in fairy tales. Anyway, so he leaves her on the bed, the king returned to his own kingdom, where, um, in.
Laura: in
Katy: Uh,
Laura: nine months she shows up
Katy: basically, yeah. So he for a time thought there, like he thought nothing else of the incident. He's like, br whatever, That just did that nothing. , and after some time she gave birth to twins. So there are other, right, there are other versions of which I didn't know this either of the story that include a second part of the narrative that details a couple's troubles after their union, like with the kids and everything.
But some other folklore think that they were two completely separated stories, had nothing to do with each other, but same names, everything. So anyway, And [00:41:00] this part has nothing to do with the podcast other than sharing more useless knowledge. But I didn't know about this part either. The second part begins after the prince and Princess, like I said, had children.
Through the course of the tale, the princess and her children are introduced in some way to another woman from the prince's life. The other woman is not fond of the prince's new family and calls to a cook to kill the children and serve them for dinner instead of, all right, instead of obeying the cook hides the kids and serves livestock.
Next, the other woman who it cleared jealousy issues, orders the cook to kill the princess. Before this can happen, the other woman's true nature is revealed to the prince, and then she is subjected to the very death that she planned for the princess. The princess Prince and children live happily ever after.
Laura: eating her
Katy: Pretty much. Yep. Yep.
So besides that creepy last part, let's just break down the beginning part of it. First off, there's a [00:42:00] couple different scenarios here. A lot of people say that sleep and beauty would've had narcolepsy, but that's not true.
Laura: not true.
Katy: There are two scenario, There are two situations though here that could explain her actions.
First off, poisoning. Now, there was a botanist who lived in the early 15 hundreds who created a book called Herbal. And this book gives the rundown on a lot of the plants that were inspired various poisonings in Shakespeare's plays from nightshade to he bonna, and a whole lot more. A lot of death in Shakespeare's plays, were fairly common knowledge, in the early 15 hundreds.
And the earliest writing of Sleeping Beauties appeared in the 13 hundreds. But the more popular versions of Sleeping Beauties didn't come until the 16 hundreds, like when it really became popular. So it was after, the different plant poisonings were fairly well known. So it's very likely that the fair [00:43:00] slash wo, whatever you wanna call her, to fulfill her own prophecy and make it look like she knows what she's talking about.
Totally could have used herbs to knock her out and not kill her if she really wanted to. Also around this timeframe, a potion called The Wall was used as a general anesthetic in surgeries. This alcohol based mixture contained bi opium lettuce. What the
heck? Yeah. Mie. He hen HeLOCK and vinegar.
Laura: hebe. And he block HeLOCK are both poisons. I
Katy: Yep.
So maybe the fairy was also a practicing physician or a medical school dropout would just
Laura: a grudge.
Katy: with a grudge against this, these two. So we would never know, but
To reinforce it, there are, there is plenty in nature that if she, like, wanted to self fulfill this prophecy, because if, if, like king, okay, you gotta think of it this way.
Kings and queens, they did nothing for themselves back then. You know [00:44:00] what I mean? Like, even as far as common knowledge, a lot of times, yes, they were educated, but it's the street smarts side of it, you know what I mean? Like the herbal stuff that clearly this witch slash fairy would've had and especially if it was the spindle dude, put some poison on there, boom. And then that easy, so easy to do. And that fairy witch lady could have just kept coming back. Now the second scenario, narcolepsy. All right. Now the whole sleep part seems to be misled as just narcolepsy, which is a lot of what people have said,
Laura: Yeah, cuz that doesn't make sense cuz narcolepsy's so short term.
Katy: But there is something that people actually said that she probably had, which was Kline Levin Syndrome, and this is also called recurrent hypersomnia, and it's a rare sleep disorder characterized by recurrent episodes of severe hypersomnia associated with cognitive and behavior disturbances, such as confusion, dation apathy, compulsive eating, and [00:45:00] hypersexuality reality.
Laura: gee
Katy: Right? So episodes last a few
Laura: loving all the finer things in life.
Sleep, food, and
Katy: food sex bingo. These episodes though, these sleep spells last a few days to several
Laura: weeks.
Oh my gosh.
Katy: And are separated by weeks or months of normal sleeping behavior. So again, narcolepsy comes in, short bursts in a short term, Kline 11 syndrome is very rare, with an estimated prevalence of one to five cases per million people.
And it's predicted in the 15 hundreds, France had around 15 million people there. So there could be at least another 15 people in France at the time who had this syndrome. Which again, leads me to believe and guess that fairy was a med school dropout and that she knew Yeah. That she either recognized the symptoms as that sleeping beauty had as a kid and was like, Hmm.
Because it would kind of happen and [00:46:00] burst and then sort of progress and get, especially whenever you have conditions like this, like after puberty, and what they said, sleeping beauty, I forget what they predicted. Like she was freaking young.
Laura: Yeah, they pre, at least in some versions, she's a baby whent. They say it and
Katy: like super young. So anyway, so chances are it was the very, which med school dropout, could have either just known about this condition or again poisoning. Now the prince waking her up, both scenarios of poisoning or Kline Loven syndrome are possible. You can obviously wake somebody up with this syndrome.
So maybe sleeping beauty because she was left to lie there quietly for so long, just needed a little, I don't know, shaking, to be woken up. But the whole king scenario thing, then that should have woken her up. I mean, unless he was that bad, but anyway. So because she would've woken up with anything cuz these people, you can wake them up, that definitely then leads to poisoning or anesthesia again,
Laura: [00:47:00] Yeah. Somebody's just drugging her the whole time.
Katy: Yeah, exactly. But, if the fairy witch, I mean, especially back then, if you get into, even though it's like in a negative light, you know, cuz like Rasputin, like, look how many people were like, Rasputin really wasn't a good person, but like he stuck close to the, um, What the, what is it? The, it's the Russian Zar family.
Yeah, the Romanoffs for so long. And it's like a lot of people held positions of powers like that within kingdoms. Yes, this is a fairytale and that was real life. But I mean, in so many different aspects, even though it is seen in a negative light, they would do whatever they had to do to keep that position of power.
Because at this point, the ferry slash witch lady does have all the power over the parents because she's the only one that has predicted it. And so she has kind of like the upper hand in this situation. So I could, There are, there is a lot more. But sleeping, bb, cuz a lot of people are like, Wow, it's narcolepsy.
No, it's, it's really not. [00:48:00] I think it's poisoning and the spindle is a likely situation. I mean, you could put poison on a plant, but chances are it's gonna absorb it or it's not really gonna do much. So spindle poison
Laura: and then constant application.
Katy: Yeah, constant repoing or the general anesthesia, which is
Laura: Yeah.
Katy: Or maybe both.
I don't know. Yeah. All right. What's your last one?
Laura: Cinderella. So
Katy: Oh, here we go.
Laura: one. So there like sleeping beauty, there have been a million different versions of this. Through throughout the world. But the one that I wanted to go with, that's the first version that is most similar to what we know from like Disney stuff, is San Pve, which is, Cinderella or the little glass slipper.
Katy: was gonna say, I knew something was little, but that's about
Laura: Yeah. Yeah. , by Charles Peralt, , in 1697. So he wrote, one that's very similar to what Disney took and [00:49:00] ran with, which is that a wealthy widow widower had a beautiful young daughter, a girl of unparalleled kindness and sweet temper. Unparalleled kindness is a very strong statement.
Katy: right.
Laura: I hope I would have liked her, but hopefully she didn't come off as too good, too
Katy: Nobody likes those people.
Laura: The gentleman marries a proud and haughty woman as a second wife. She has two daughters who are equally vain and selfish. Now, to be fair, we have to, a lot of us know from
Katy: There's always two. Yeah. There's always two sides to every
Laura: Yeah. They were probably, raised to be vain and selfish if their mother was. So, we can be mad at the mom.
We probably shouldn't be mad at the stepsisters. Um, the girl is forced into servitude by her stepmother where she's made to work day and night doing menial chores. Where the heck is her father at this time? Being for as, as she's being forced into this. After the girls' chores are done for the day, she curls up near the fireplace in an effort to stay warm.
Okay. [00:50:00] Smart. But depending on the fireplace, incredibly day dangerous. One Stray coal will catch you on fire,
Katy: say though, like I had a, we had a real fireplace in our house growing up, and I frequently would stand in front of it, but we had one of those like metal guard things,
Laura: Yeah. No, this I'm sure was like a
Katy: No, it's an open, Yeah, it's open.
Laura: And, Cold stone probably. But apparently this was very common for maids at the time. This, sleeping maids in general were often covered in ashes because of not just cleaning, but also because they usually slept in the basement of houses.
Cause they weren't allowed to sleep on the main floor. And so the only way for them to stay warm would be to literally sleep in the fireplace as close as they could to the warmth, which is tragic.
Katy: Right. Geez,
Laura: she, she would often arise covered in ashes giving rise to the mocking name ci Sandra, which is Cinderella, in English, by her stepsisters.
Cinderella bears the abuse patiently and doesn't tell her father who would've scolded her. [00:51:00] Okay. So I guess that explains where he's at, but what a jerk. Yeah. I, I guess unless hopefully she didn't just assume that he would be mad at her, I just never said anything.
One day the Prince invites all of the people in the land to a royal ball.
Again. Wait, all, how many people are in the land at this time?
Katy: it's gotta be a lot.
Laura: Like, God, it'd be a ton. How many people
Katy: But then too, it's like it's, But then too, it's like how many people actually show up? You might
Laura: Well, that's what I'm saying. Like how many, do you think you'd have to RSVP to the event? Like, do people just
Katy: and do you do, and do you do that by carrier pigeon or
Laura: yeah.
Katy: would think though it would have to be Yes, he invited, quote unquote all the land. But the pull point was to find somebody to marry this, The boy, right, the prince.
Laura: I mean, they don't say that in
Katy: Okay. Because it's like I, they might quote unquote say all the land, but I guarantee you they only invited upper [00:52:00] class, all the land of upper class
Laura: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So in 1715 there were about 23 million people in France.
Katy: So yeah, 15 hundreds. I said it was about 15 million is what I found.
So this is a little bit after. Does that make
Laura: Yeah. And mine was the six. Yeah. I mean, all the land he'd have to have only a province or something. One would assume it couldn't be like
Katy: All of his
Laura: the Prince of France.
Katy: all of his land.
Laura: Yeah. A minor prince. I, I'm not sure. So the two step sisters, they're stoked. They get their stuff. There's
Katy: Thought you were gonna say they're stoned. I was
Laura: Oh yeah. As the stepsisters and to other leave Cinderella's, crying her eyes out and her fairy godmother magically appears and immediately begins to transform Cinderella from house servant to the young lady.
She was. All in the effort to get her to the ball. Okay, so here's, this is the version that became very popular because of all these additions of, before, they didn't have any fairy godmother in it. They
Katy: Yeah. Positivity, the additions of [00:53:00] positivity.
Laura: Yeah. So, the fairy godmother turns a pumpkin into a golden carriage.
Okay. I'm really hoping that this golden carriage, like it's a pumpkin that doesn't just look like a golden carriage, but is one because I cannot even imagine
the,
Katy: don't really
Laura: gooey mess
Katy: Yeah. I don't
Laura: inside of that carriage would be.
Katy: I know everyone jumps on this whole pumpkin spice thing, in the fall, but That's just not me.
I
I couldn't do pumpkin.
Laura: I like pumpkin everything but pumpkin pie and I don't like that at all. I'm thinking just the inside of a pumpkin, like when I carve a pumpkin, how gross it is. I feel like she'd get in looking beautiful and then coming out, come out looking like she'd just climbed out of Gogo's nose hole.
Katy: Yeah. Right. Maybe, maybe the very godmother is just a champion pumpkin carver, and she just really gets that sucker clean.
Laura: maybe, Maybe. She also turns mice into horses, which, do they still have the [00:54:00] temperament of mice
Katy: That'd be
Laura: because Yeah, that's a terrible animal.
Katy: That's a terrible animal.
Laura: horses are trained in order to pull carriages. It's not just something horses are born knowing how to do. And it's not just simply hooking them up to it and go, saying go.
Okay. They have to work in teams and they have
Katy: I've I've never seen mice work in teams and like work
with
Laura: and, and, these poor mice that were just mind their own business and they just got turned into horses and then were strapped to this carriage, like,
Katy: Wasn't the one into Disney's name. Gus. Gus. That was the only one I remember. It
was like Gus.
Gu, little chubby one. Gus,
Laura: Yeah. And I, I'm picturing like anytime they see any other animal, they would just bolt.
Katy: freak out. Yeah, they have to. They're mice. Yeah.
Laura: She turned a rat into a coachman, which again, temperament, but at least on the plus side, rats are incredibly clean creatures. So this Coachman would probably look pretty nice.
And, they're [00:55:00] also very intelligent, so hopefully that would help this rat know here where he was going. She also turned lizards into footman. Footman are kind of like servants in a, I mean, like, they're a type of servant. But yeah. So, lizards, again, temperament. I, I feel like a lizard
Katy: Also, where'd she get some lizards in? Like what kind of li Go ahead,
Laura: I was also wondering what kind of lizards are in France.
Katy: I'll look it up. Go ahead.
Laura: Okay. I'm imagining it's the kind, they can just drop their tails and so something just happens and their butt falls off,
Katy: there are seven. There are seven species of lizard in France, but only the slow, warm. Angus Fragiles, Anna, the Common Wall lizard can be found in all parts of France
Laura: So it's probably one of those two that they turned..
Katy: and they totally can drop their tails.
Laura: Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure the fr like that, that name sounds like it should. So yeah, they, she transformed into human and then when they get scared, their butt cheeks just fall off.
Katy: Pop [00:56:00] right off. Boom. Ah,
Laura: Before then they had some junk in the trunk. So she then turned Cinderella's rags into a beautiful jeweled gown and complete with a pair of delicate glass slippers. Why? Why, who in their right mind would ever wear glass slippers to a dance? Okay. Much less anywhere else, but
Katy: Okay. Laura. Not everyone dances like you.
Okay.
Laura: Yeah. very true.
Katy: they might be a little gentler.
Laura: anyone who's dancing at all should not be wearing glass on their feet. That's just
Katy: That's just an ER trip waiting to happen. And then you gotta call the lizards back and like get your slimy pumpkin
and then just arrive at the ER and you just slip right outta there.
Cause you
Laura: you in a mixture of pumpkin guts and blood. Her Hercules tendon just gone. Um,
Katy: Which out? Everything, that's like the worst muscle, like cut. And that would be [00:57:00] the one that would happen.
Laura: Glass slippers. Why? I would be so pissed at my fairy godmother for making me glass slippers. This is the most impractical shoe. You don't
Katy: That would be me. I'd be pissed off of the glass, the glass slippers. But where are my pockets? Damnit like.
Laura: Yeah. Yeah. So godmother of course tells her she's gotta be done by midnight or the spell will be broken. So she goes, she has a freaking blast. Everyone, thinks she's awesome. She then, she goes home far before midnight in this version. She goes back and her stepsister can't stop talking about this beautiful girl that they saw, which again, vision problems, like how do they not, I mean, I guess if you're not expecting to see someone somewhere, then you
might not, but
like, come on.
Katy: Yeah.
Laura: So then she goes back a second night because there's, apparently this party is like an ongoing one.
Katy: I mean, it would make sense if you're gonna invite all those people.
Laura: yeah. Yeah. So they have another ball. She has even more fun. The [00:58:00] prince becomes infatuated with her. She is infatuated with him. She forgets about the time and then of course the last stroke of midnight happens.
She's running for it because this be's about to be broken and she knows she's about to turn back into plain
Katy: And our glass slippers was like, dinging.
Laura: Yeah, she is running as fast as she can in glass freaking slippers. And of course, being glass slippers, they're probably really slippery.
Katy: pumpkin sludge in it.
Laura: Yeah, so one just slips right off of it. And so the prince chases are out and the guards only see a simple country girl leave, and the prince pockets the slippers and vows to marry the girl to whom it belongs.
Katy: How big are his pockets?
Laura: Very true freaking men and their lucky deep pockets
Katy: he's just like, I'm gonna hunt her down. I need to know who she is. Let me just keep
her shoes in my pockets. Yeah. Just in a
pocket. Pocket. These slippers, and I'm gonna find her.
Laura: Um, but also, I've always been confused as to why the glass slipper didn't disappear. If [00:59:00] all they saw was a country girl running away, the dress obviously did and all the other stuff, why
Katy: Yeah. Maybe it has to be, Maybe it had to be attached to her or
Laura: her body? Yeah, I don't know.
She could have kept her clothes then if she just would've chucked off.
Katy: I need to say this, would later rip it off just running naked through the woods.
One glass slipper on, no less
Laura: What a mess.
Katy: Cause by that time she's gonna be like wobbling. You
know what I
mean? Cause then she's on
Laura: Every, probably all of us ladies have had to do like a one heel walk before, Not fun
Katy: No.
Laura: Unless they were flats. At least I would be like, at least the godmother would hopefully
like have given her flats.
Katy: no, there's no way. There's gotta be at least a little bit of a heel It's gotta be at least, I mean, she's gonna go and she's gonna look good. You know?
He'll make your butt look good. Yeah. But you, you know what I mean, Get boost you up a little bit. So, I mean, is
it she's
Laura: you call a
slipper a heel?
I don't know. [01:00:00] Um, so,
Katy: just always assumed it was a slipper cuz she slips her foot in it.
Laura: I, I always assume it was a slipper cuz it was flat. I don't know. Maybe it's only because that's what it's like in the movie. Well, I guess it has a taste for small heel. Okay. So the Princess Herald tries the slipper on all the women in the kingdom, which would've taken forever.
Forever. Can you even, and can you imagine the gross feet that that poor man had to
Katy: and what, 16 hundreds.
That's gotta be some nasty feet.
Laura: Some nasty feet. Nasty, nasty feet. So when the
Herald
Katy: hairy. Like, it's gotta be like hairy and
Laura: Oh, I mean, yeah, like, It.
Katy: just gross. Yeah.
Laura: Like the toenails. Yeah. When the Herald arrives at Cinderella's homes stepsisters, of course, try it. That doesn't work out. So then Cinderella says, Hey, can I try it on? Naturally the slipper fits perfectly. Okay. I feel [01:01:00] like there would've had to be a, like, how surely there were other people in this kingdom with the
same shoe size as Cinderella, unless she had some really freaky feet.
Okay.
Katy: not only that, but, Or it was like as the glass was still cooling the godmother slipped him on and you know what I mean? So it would have to be like
a
Laura: Oh my gosh. Okay. Well, in that case then, silver Cinderella has no skin left on our feet. molded to her feet with molten glass. They would never have come off Katy. They would've gone forever.
Katy: pumpkin crap in there. Of course it's gonna slip right out.
Laura: The lubricated. Her skin just sch SLS right off. That's so disgusting. He'll, he'll, he'll. Um, so
I'm just thinking ,I'm just thinking [01:02:00] that she must have real freaky feet. So either like she's got like
the tiniest feet that nobody else has.
Katy: or an
extra
Laura: tell. Or like, like, you know, like some people have feet that like face freaky directions.
So like she's got just messed up feet and Cinderella produces it says in the story. Cinderella produces the other slipper for good. I would be so pissed if I was the footman and I have to go around putting these shoes on everybody when this chick right here could've just said it's me. I
have a, I
have it.
I have proof.
Katy: Yeah.
Laura: Ugh. Freaking Cinderella. So her whole family pleads for forgiveness and Cinderella being like the goody two shoes that she is forgives everyone
because she hoped. She hoped She hoped that her step family would love her. Always. I feel like Cinderella needs a lot of therapy.
Katy: Yeah, she does. Yeah. That is .
That
Laura: some like codependence. Yeah,
Katy: That is a toxic [01:03:00] family environment. You need some
space, some distance and cut ties, and you need time to heal. That's what you need to do.
Laura: Cinderella,
Cinderella. So she married the prince. She forgives her step sisters, and they all live happily ever after except for the, They don't mention anything about the stepmother or her dad, so
Katy: maybe they're the ones that are dead to her now,
like she cut
them
Laura: she maybe, maybe she forgave the sisters because she knew it wasn't their fault.
It
was their mom's
Katy: maybe maybe it was therapy paid off.
Laura: And so they say that the moral of the story is that beauty is a treasure, but graciousness is priceless. And without it nothing is possible. And with it, one can do anything.
Katy: I'm judgemental of that, but
Laura: Graciousness. That's a, that's a very interesting, like graciousness is priceless. Okay. But then apparently there's a second moral to the story though, that this guy says, that, without doubt, it is a great advantage to have intelligence, courage, good breeding and common sense. These, and sim, good breeding, [01:04:00] these and similar talents come only from heaven.
It is, it is good to have them. However, even these may fail to bring, bring you success without the blessing of a godfather or godmother.
Katy: or just a distinct foot shape, like that's really what saved her is a
Laura: Yeah, the distinct foot shape.
Katy: Ah,
Laura: So yeah, their story could have gone a lot of different ways. Probably could have ended far earlier if she would've just showed up with that
Katy: what? Yeah. I just said,
Laura: or just simply told him her name.
Katy: Yeah. Yeah. How do
Laura: I'm Cinderella
Katy: One to two nights hanging out with somebody and not, But then maybe it was like one of those situations where she's hours into it and he's already said his name and she doesn't wanna like reintroduce herself.
So it gets awkward and then you're like, you know what? We've been hanging out too long now. It's way too, I totally work with some people that I probably see them at least once or twice a week and I'm like, at this point it's too weird to ask them their name cuz I've worked, I've worked there for, I've worked there for four years now.
Um, and it's just too much time has [01:05:00] gone on. So maybe it was just one of those things she's like, Paul already made out with this guy and is like, you know what? I'm in too deep. Can't ask him what his name is now. gotta go with it
Laura: or she doesn't need, she like doesn't say her name like cuz he can't remember hers. Yeah. I don't know.
Katy: Uh, basic social skills folks. could have saved a lot of time, a lot of time here. Alrighty, well that was a fun
Laura: a fun episode.
Katy: All right, everybody. So I hope you guys enjoyed it. This would be kind of a fun one too, if you hop over to one of our channels or send us a message on
a another fairy Yeah, another fairy tale that you like and like just little snippets of, of what you would think would be more scientifically
accurate.
Cause I would, this one would be a funny one to hear from people too, is they're different takes on things. It, it'd
be funny, doesn't need to be our stories. It can be any fairy tale that you, you've come across and you'd be like, You know what, I've always thought about this one and this is be better if X, y, z. So yeah, definitely let us know. Check us out on Patreon. Uh, go talk to us on Twitter. [01:06:00] And until then, we will talk to you guys next week.
Laura: bye everyone.